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there is a saying in the Book of changes: "words and deeds are the cardinal of a gentleman."

speaking is an instinct and the key to a person's life.

but in real life, very few people can control the tone.

language can be modified and disguised, but the tone is direct and true.

if the tone is inappropriate, the good intentions will be misunderstood and the sincerity will be questioned.

A person's luck will only get better when his tone gets better.

your tone determines luck. Smart people never say these four words!

Don't talk big in front of people

when Confucius was young, he was taught by Laozi.

Laozi said, "A good man is hidden if empty, and a gentleman with virtue and appearance is like a fool."

A good businessman who hides wealth but seems to have nothing;

A virtuous gentleman with a hidden character looks modest and dull.

the highest state of being a man is to be silent and not to talk too much.

people's front tone is grandiose, boastful and boastful, and it is easy to cause trouble.

Liu Kai, a famous scholar in the Northern Song Dynasty, was often pretentious and full of boasting.

he also opened his mouth casually, claiming to be "a teacher of Confucius and a friend of Meng Ke, Qi Yangxiong and Han Yu."

before a scientific examination, he used a unicycle to push thousands of articles on poems and poems and cast them to the examiner.

but his strength does not match his arrogance, and not even one of his articles has been approved by the examiner.

and the examinee Zhang Jing, who came to take the exam, was different from Liu Kai's frivolity, he only submitted one article.

after the examiner finished reading it, he felt that it was flowing, brilliant, and rated as "excellent".

"Liu opens a thousand axes, is defeated by Zhang Jingyi's book." Liu opened his mouth casually, leaving only an immortal smile.

there is a saying in the Book of morality: "if you do not attack yourself, you will do meritorious service; if you do not pride yourself, you will be long."

really smart people don't talk and brag about themselves in front of others.

they know that what they say cannot be taken back, so they especially refrain from being cautious.

modest tone, introverted words, do not talk big, reliable, can be stable and far away.

Don't gossip after people

as the old saying goes, "misfortune comes out of the mouth, and trouble comes in from the mouth."

this is a truth that everyone understands. It is easier to know than to do.

many people still talk frivolously behind their backs and gossip about their length.

this not only hurts people intangibly and destroys interpersonal relationships, but also causes trouble for themselves.

learn to shut out gossip, do not listen, do not say, do not spread, is the good fortune of few words.

once saw a story.

the young monk hurried up to the master and said, "I have some news for you."

Xiaohe was still puzzled and asked, "which three sieves are they?"

the master said, "the first sieve is true, is the news true?"

"I don't know. I heard it from someone else." The little monk replied.

the master asked, "the second sieve is goodwill. If the news is not true, it is at least goodwill."

the young monk hesitated and said, "No, on the contrary."

the master asked again, "the third sieve is important. Do you think it is very important?"

the little monk blushed and replied, "it's not very important."

the master smiled and said, "it is neither true, nor well-intentioned, nor important, so what is there to say?"

Laozi said, "it is better to keep the middle than to speak too much and count the poor."

gossiping behind people's backs not only embarrasses others, but also makes them restless.

A true wise man knows how to sit still and think about his own mistakes, regardless of what is right or wrong.

sincere tone, evasive words, no gossip, not only considerate the dignity of others, but also preserve their own character.

Don't complain to everyone

in Liezi, it is said: "those who benefit are good, but those who complain about the past bring harm

.

"

take it for granted that complaining to everyone is anger at their own incompetence.

will not make things better, but also full of negative energy, affecting themselves and infecting others.

always believe that life has an echo and energy is flowing quietly.

A person is frustrated and complains, even if he comes across a turning point.

on the contrary, I feel upward in my heart and say joy in my mouth, even in the face of suffering.

I have read such a story in the book.

there was a farmer who planted a lot of crops at the beginning of spring and was still growing well.

he often looks at the fields with a smile, looking forward to a bumper harvest.

but there were unexpected events in the sky, the torrential rain came all of a sudden, and caused the flood.

most of the farmland was washed away, and the farmer hurriedly asked some friends to help dig the canal.

while draining the excess flood, we hurriedly replanted new crops.

the farmer worked very hard, with no complaints in his mouth and no depression on his face.

A friend wondered and asked him, "isn't it hard for you that so many crops have been destroyed?"

the farmer smiled and said, "of course I am distressed, but instead of complaining, it is better to act and solve the problem."

as the saying goes, "A gentleman studies himself without virtue and resentment, and villains have blamed others.""

A wise man will never open his mouth and keep his mouth shut, hurting others and himself.

but brisk tone, positive words, clear life and warm and beautiful surroundings.

algae tend to light, plants tend to be sunny, and most people also prefer positive energy.

such people will not only have a clear heart, but also become more and more popular and take the road ahead more and more widely.

quarrel without cruel words

as the saying goes, "good words are warm in three winters, but evil words hurt people in June."

language is the most powerful and lethal weapon.

sometimes, an angry word or a cruel word is enough to break a person.

in fact, compared with sharp words, fierce words, what is more powerful is gentle words.

Zeng Guofan, the first minister in the late Qing Dynasty, devoted half his life to "not saying cruel words".

before the age of 30, he often uttered evil words and cruel words in order to take advantage of his tongue for a while.

even when a good friend came to celebrate his father's birthday, he uttered a lot of nonsense and let the other party leave in a huff.

so his colleagues and friends stayed away from him, and the emperor almost took off his black hat.

when he tasted the pain, he began to reflect on repentance and hung the word "careful words" in his study to alert himself from time to time.

he laughed at Zuo Zongtang, who sharply attacked him in court, and even took the initiative to say hello.

over time, Zeng Guofan was like a fish in water in his career, and he went higher and farther.

the moral Classic says: "the most gentle in the world, the strongest in the world."

when you quarrel, you only say bad things and say cruel things out of a moment of anger.

will not only hurt other people's hearts, but also narrow their own path.

gentle tone and euphemistic words can soften and melt the iceberg between people.

soft words, not cruel words, not hurting people's hearts, is a person's highest self-cultivation and wisdom.

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Gui Guzi said, "the mouth is the door of the heart."

if you don't control your tone, you will offend people invisibly.

it can even destroy feelings and trust between people.

for the feelings and dignity of others, for your own future and destiny.

be sure to keep your mouth shut, speak well, don't try to speak quickly, and don't say the above four words.

in this way, we can make each other feel at ease, let ourselves feel at ease, and let more good luck come quietly.

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