Lin Jing

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some people say: "in a long life, separation and love are not necessarily contrary to each other."

indeed, it is most difficult to live in love when you are in love.

the regret brought about by the difficulties of marriage reminds me of a post I saw not long ago.

I have been married to him for two years. After giving birth to children, I have been in poor health.

my mother took care of me and then went home, but when I was breastfeeding, my father was critically ill and I wanted to go home.

his words discouraged me: "your father is still sick, the child is so young, what if he is infected?"

after listening to him, I didn't continue to argue with him, but asked for a divorce.

A sentence said by the husband may have been intended for the good of the children, but ignored his wife's feelings.

obviously there is a better way to communicate, but he chose the most hurtful one.

as netizens said: "always sighing, easy to suffocate."

between lovers, unspoken explanations are replaced by silence, which makes love out of control.

many people will regard my concern for you as my contribution to you.

but in fact, none of us give each other a chance to express, so this kind of "giving" seems meaningless.

the longer you get married, the more clear you will be:

the misfortune of marriage sometimes comes not from betrayal, but from an imbalance in communication.

No matter how good the relationship is

will also lose to unequal communication

Zhihu saw someone ask: "what are the minor problems in marriage that eventually ruin the marriage?"

highly praised replied: "if you think you love me, you must listen to me."

respect and trust are the basis for husband and wife to get along, while verbal strength will make the right to speak unequal.

when this disrespect becomes the norm of the family, there will be cracks in even the best relationship.

there is a divorce case in the TV series "bottom Line", which makes people think deeply.

Wu Hua accompanied Fu Xiang from starting from scratch to a successful career, but the two had a "marriage crisis" because of the divergence of the focus of life.

Wu Hua is no longer Fu Xiang's spiritual pillar, but Fu Xiang is still Wu Hua's center.

after returning to her family, Wu Hua was aware of her husband's perfunctory behavior, so she wanted to return to work and regain her sense of value.

she told her husband her idea and thought she would get each other's support, but Fu Xiang said in a bad manner, "without you, I can have someone else, but without me, you can only stay and type in the cubicle of the office all your life."

Wu Hua is determined to return to work, only to get her husband's respect, but the other party's unkind feelings, but her efforts are worthless.

unequal communication is suffocating, but it is also a true portrayal of many marriages.

as someone said, "language itself is part of action."

the promise of vows will eventually be lost to the unbalanced family status. Romantic love, finally can not escape the apathy of non-speculation.

Marriage is not about transforming each other, but about making each other better in taking on family responsibilities.

when there is a certain "distance" between two people, there will be more tests of character.

whether to choose growth or the Cold War is all in words.

Love needs to be understood and expressed.

the key to respecting each other is to communicate equally with your loved ones in the family.

Aphasia in marriage

make couples strange

see a post on Douban, netizens

@ Chen Xi

tells the story of how she and her husband gradually lost their words in their marriage.

Chen Xi is a full-time wife and her husband is an engineer. After ten years of marriage, Chen Xi's "comrade-in-arms", who once shared joys and sorrows, has now become a "roommate" like a stranger.

at the beginning of the post, she expressed her dissatisfaction with her lover: "he is supporting his family, but he only works in his heart and seldom communicates with me when he gets home."

then she listed several complaints against her husband.

when I went out with my best friend, I made a meal for him to take care of the children at home, but when I got home, I found that there was no food, and there was only pizza residue on the table.

every time he and her husband talk about the education of their children, the other person will evade the problem by being "busy at work", resulting in less and less communication between husband and wife.

when there is a conflict between the two, the husband will not solve the problem, but choose to "run away from home" and express his dissatisfaction with cold violence.

in this marriage, she did all by herself to take care of the children and do housework, including buying clothes for the children and her husband.

the husband not only became a "shopkeeper", but also did not express a word of concern or gratitude.

these scenes resonated with many netizens, and it was very sad to see a message: "from saying everything to saying nothing, if even quarrelling has become a luxury, then I would rather not get married."

Life is full of variables, and so is marriage.

it is not daily trivialities that force us to suffer from aphasia, but the indifference and incomprehension between husband and wife.

maybe we will get tired of seeing our loved ones at a time when we are on the verge of emotional collapse.

but if you can turn the clock back, maybe you will still choose to be with the other person.

the truth of marriage is that no matter how you choose, the person you decided at first, no matter how bad it is, will occupy the most important position in your heart.

Don't use "I'm busy" to refuse to communicate with your lover, and don't use cold violence to keep your marriage warm.

lovers who are "strangers" need to be considerate and "tell each other their hearts".

qualified lover

all know "non-violent communication"

there is a saying in "non-violent Communication":

"people spend 80% of their time communicating when they are awake, of which they spend 45% of their time listening."

in fact, the really effective communication is to listen first and then express.

this is particularly important in marriage.

qualified lovers will first let go of their emotions and listen to the expression of their loved ones, rather than let each other be passively silent.

Chen Lijie, author of intimacy Management, once shared the story of him and his wife.

once, my wife met a very fastidious leader at work. Although she was meticulous about her work, she was not recognized by her. Instead, she was full of praise for the rest of the group.

my wife was so aggrieved that she began to complain about her work when she got home.

after Chen Lijie heard this, his first reaction was to reason with his wife and teach her the experience of others.

"honest people" who only do things and do not report will suffer losses in the workplace. Take the initiative to let the leader see your efforts, rather than waiting for the other party to find out.

Chen Lijie expressed his whole heart and moved himself, only to find that his wife's face was getting worse and worse.

with more and more reasons, his wife could not help interrupting him: "Mr. Chen, you are all right!" But what I need now is not a teacher, but a husband! "

only then did he realize that he had ignored his wife's feelings.

so he got up and gave his wife a hug and expressed his understanding and comfort for what had happened to her. The wife's mood suddenly cleared up.

in marriage, lovers need a sense of identity, not being lectured.

empathy before expressing concern can naturally resolve conflicts and make communication more warm.

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A person only reveals everything about himself in front of the one he loves.

any careful expression is out of trust and dependence.

therefore, when husband and wife are angry, they might as well listen to each other first.

Don't let a quick sermon destroy the relationship between husband and wife; don't use a careless attitude to ruin the hard-won happiness.

strong reasoning in marriage is tantamount to adding fuel to the fire. Listening before speaking is the correct posture of communication.

Huang Zhizhong once said:

"

Real communication is not for you

you can win every communication, but let you

try not to get caught up in need

Communication

context.

"

misunderstandings caused by invalid communication will make both sides bitter.

in marriage, strong dialogue allows couples to avoid problems, and compatible communication brings them closer to each other.

A good relationship has temperature in its words; a good lover has eyes in each other's eyes.

May all the good people you meet and all you love be fate for the rest of your life, and be a lover who knows how to communicate.

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