duhaoshu

someone asked, "how do you destroy a relationship quickly?"

someone replied, "be reasonable, keep being reasonable."

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the world cannot work without the word "reason", but sometimes truth is not omnipotent.

some feelings are blindly reasonable, which will only make the problem more complicated and end up in a mess.

after dealing with life for many years, I just found that a good relationship is never reasonable.

parents need to forgive, not be reasonable

I don't know since when, we go round and round in the mountain of work every day, spend less and less time with our parents, and our concern for our parents is numbered.

but once they find that their parents have been fooled, some people will impatiently accuse their parents of being too stupid and constantly reason with their parents, hoping that they will not be fooled again.

A few years ago, the famous host Ma Dong said in the program that his mother would watch TV and go shopping every day.

once, my mother saw that the host recommended a customized European royal bag with an original price of 19800 yuan, which was bought through a TV program for only 930yuan.

she was immediately moved and hurriedly placed the order.

after Ma Dong returned home, she also told Ma Dong the "happy event".

Ma Dong knew as soon as he heard that the so-called royal bespoke style and discount were just a marketing tool for merchants.

I thought Ma Dong would stop his mother immediately and explain to her that it was a marketing tactic for merchants, and that the bag was not worth the price at all.

it turns out that Ma Dong's father has been dead for more than ten years. He has very little time to accompany his mother when he is busy at work. His mother can only watch TV at home to kill time.

if he reason with his mother, his mother will watch TV shopping programs carefully and the only happiness will disappear.

in the era of developed information, elderly parents will always be slow to accept information, and it is inevitable that they will not know about it.

the best way to care for your parents is not to be busy lecturing them, but to try your best to tolerate them.

when we were young, our parents were the only ones; when we were adults, we were our parents' support.

Don't let those reasons break the hearts of our parents and become a wall between us and our parents.

lovers need empathy, not reason

I have seen the diaries of netizens on Douban.

he said that no matter what bad things happened to him, his wife's reaction would always make him more depressed.

it turns out that some time ago, he made an investment on the advice of his friend, but he didn't want to lose all his money.

the money was small, but it was enough to cover the family's expenses for a year, and he regretted it.

but when his wife learned of this, she kept saying that it was inevitable for him to fail in his investment, because he did not do a good job in the previous investigation, believed his friends' words, and so on.

after listening to his wife, he became even more depressed.

on another occasion, a colleague went on a temporary business trip, and he had to socialize with his clients until the middle of the night.

when he got home, after drinking several glasses of wine, he only wanted a bowl of hot porridge.

but his wife has always taught him that he doesn't want to drink, so he can put it off and says that he doesn't take care of his body.

at that time, his heart hit rock bottom. If he could stop drinking, who would drink?

sometimes, what the other person needs is not your sermon, but can resonate with you emotionally.

if you talk too much, it will only hurt your feelings, so that two people who are very close to each other will be separated by a Milky way.

No matter who you marry, the passion of the past will slowly wear away under firewood, rice and oil.

but sympathetic couples can always live like a raging fire in the trivial time.

with such a big world and such a large population, it takes a lifetime of luck for some people to meet.

it would be a pity if you lose your feelings because of reason.

the best way to love each other is to put yourself in each other's shoes, try to understand their needs, and give them the support and understanding they need.

Children need comfort, not reason

in the movie "palpitating Heart", there is a plot that people still remember.

Julie, a girl, likes a big tree in front of her house very much. She often sits on the tree alone and looks out at the beautiful scenery in the distance.

that tree is a good friend to Julie.

but one day, as usual, while overlooking the scenery from the tree, Julie learned that the owner of the tree had decided to cut down the tree.

devastated, she stayed on the tree and refused to come down in order to save the big tree.

when Julie's father learned this, he had to climb a tree to enlighten her.

but no matter how much Julie begged her father to keep the tree, her father just persuaded her to accept the reality and told her that the tree would be cut down sooner or later.

watching her beloved tree cut down, she cried for two weeks.

although, nothing big happened in her life.But she found that no matter what she did, she was not interested in it, and she was miserable because she could not forget the existence of this tree.

psychologist Wu Zhihong said:

"the most ineffective effort in the world is to reason with your child from the bottom of your heart. the more you talk, the more disgusted the child is and the less willing to communicate with you.

"

when children quarrel with good friends, they begin to analyze who is right and who is wrong, and give them all kinds of advice. as a result, the child is even more aggrieved.

when the weather gets cold, they always want their children to wear more clothes, but the children don't feel cold and talk too much, so the children simply hide in the room and can't come out.

if you try your best to be reasonable, children may not be able to understand their good intentions, but they will have a rebellious mentality.

in fact, when children are depressed, all parents can do is to give their children a hug and to understand, support and encourage them from their point of view.

Friends need to talk, not be reasonable

people will deal with countless individuals in their lifetime, but few of them can sympathize with each other.

can become an invincible friend, but one of them is listening.

I remember that just after graduating from college, the students were busy looking for jobs.

but I was suffering from not knowing what kind of job I was suitable for. I never started looking for a job and fell into anxiety.

when I was in the middle of talking to my other friends, they began to give me some advice.

they either advise me to find a job related to English, or analyze what kind of job I am suitable for.

even though I know that my friends are looking out for me, every time I finish chatting, I get more confused.

but when she talked to Lao Diao about her troubles, she always listened to me patiently and did not help me figure out a solution.

every time after chatting with her, the depression in my heart always disappears without a trace.

therefore, whenever something happens to me, I will always be the first to think of Lao Diao.

over time, our relationship became closer and closer.

later, I asked Lao Diao why he could hear me out every time.

she told me, "because you don't talk to me to get answers, but you need an audience."

Yes, if Lao Diao, like other friends, is busy trying to reason with me and persuade me to find a job first, our relationship may become estranged.

the Power of empathy says:

"the essence of empathy is to extend your life into other people's lives, put your ears into other people's souls, and listen to the most urgent whispers there."

those with high EQ know this well.

but they understand the truth, friends all know, friends just need someone who can listen to themselves.

long-term relationships depend on listening, not reasoning.

the stupidest thing in the world is to keep being reasonable

I strongly agree with what the writer Suzuoluo said:

in most cases, you and your loved ones, classmates, friends, and colleagues have similar knowledge and experience background.

this kind of thing has a certain circle layer attribute, that is to say, everyone understands the common sense truth and logic in this circle layer, and there is no need for you to talk about it.

everyone understands the truth, no one likes to listen to others to reason, you and the other party is reasonable, but the other party is listening to your attitude.

A wise man has long put aside his desire to give advice to others.

only stupid people will keep on being reasonable.

, may you and I, no matter who we deal with, be less reasonable, more tolerant, comforting and listening, have a happy and long-term relationship, and live a sweeter and sweeter life.