duhaoshu

in the Little Prince, there is a saying:

"there is only one real luxury in the world, and that is human relations."

everyone expects to have a comfortable relationship, but seldom thinks about what to do to make the relationship look tiresome and tiring.

as the saying goes, everything in the world can be followed.

when I was walking, I just realized:

those relationships that are comfortable with each other all understand the "Sanqi Law".

three points of advice, seven points of respect

have you ever had such an experience:

when something happens, someone will always give you all kinds of advice as someone who has been there.

the frustrating thing is that if you don't accept his advice completely.

the other person will either try their best to convince you or fall out with you.

in many moments, too much advice will only alienate feelings.

netizens

@ Lin 17

shared such a thing.

when she volunteered, her cousin suggested that she major in accounting so that she could find a job after graduation.

but she insisted on choosing the English major she was interested in.

not only that, her husband changed his job some time ago.

but the new job is too far from home, so she decided to change to a job closer to her husband in order to make her husband less hard.

my cousin immediately advised her, "at your age, it's hard to find a job, so there's no need to take risks."

when she changed her job, her cousin teased her that her new job must not be as smooth as her previous one, and advised her how to please the new leader and so on.

such things can be found everywhere, and netizens will be very uncomfortable every time I meet my cousin.

in fact, in the eyes of a thousand people, there are a thousand Hamlets, and everyone has his own way of living.

you don't wear other people's shoes, walk through other people's paths, and have no way of knowing what other people are going through.

advice to lose control is actually interfering in other people's lives.

moreover, your suggestion may not be able to solve each other's problems.

what's more, if you give the right advice, others may not be grateful to you;

but if the advice is wrong, others will vent their anger on you.

A comfortable relationship is giving the other person the right advice and giving him room to think about it.

No matter what decision the other party makes in the end, he will not tell him what to do.

this is not indifference, nor ruthlessness, but respect for the relationship.

long-term relationships are not suggested, but respected.

three points go with fate, seven points cherish

the world is so big that it is full of wonders.

some people lose their feelings because they don't cherish their feelings.

there are also people who cherish this relationship so much that they are drifting away.

my friend Xiaoyue is the latter.

A few years ago, Xiaoyue was reunited with her classmates who had been separated for many years, and both of them cherished this encounter.

on weekdays, Xiaoyue always takes care of her classmates' affairs in order to maintain this relationship.

as long as her classmates are looking for her, she will take the time no matter how busy she is.

every time Xiaoyue sees something interesting, she will buy one for her classmates.

until once, Xiaoyue asked her classmates to eat and go shopping, and the students said they had to work overtime.

but Xiaoyue was furious when she saw her having dinner with someone else.

the two men argued for a few words and finally broke up in discord.

after that, they lost touch.

later, Xiaoyue learned from others that her classmates always felt very tired when they got along with her.

We have fantastic choices for your important dates!

what's more, the students don't like the things she sent.

Life is filled with all kinds of uncertainties, and we have no way of knowing at which intersection we will be separated from our friends.

We will inevitably cherish it for fear of losing a precious relationship.

but to take each other too seriously is not to cherish each other, but a way of communication that is out of measure.

as Wu Zhihong said: "

the weak sense of boundaries is the reason why many emotions have become sharp weapons. "

if everything goes too far, fate will come to an end.

cherish too hard, not only can not improve each other's feelings, but will make each other feel suffocated.

the most comfortable state between people is that we don't know when we will be separated.

but we cherish the present and follow the fate of gathering and breaking up.

if you want to have long-lasting feelings and communicate with people, please follow fate and cherish seven points.

three points go with fate, seven points cherish

Lin Yutang said:

"seeing the clouds in the sky, it turns out that life is not too crowded, it has to be empty.

"

the same is true of feelings.

if you love someone again, don't try your best to give, but leave yourself a little blank.

in the TV series "our Marriage", there is a plot that makes me very emotional.

Comet Shen is a top graduate from a famous university, but after marriage, in order to support her husband's work, she raised children full-time for six years and took charge of big and small things in the family.

but once, when the husband was drunk, he said that their happy life depended on him being out alone.Work hard face to face, completely ignoring the hardships of raising children at home.

on another occasion, she followed her husband to a financial circle sharing meeting, which she also wanted to attend.

but her husband feels that she hasn't had a job for many years, so she is only suitable to enjoy flowers and pick chili peppers like other wives.

all the things in front of her made her feel extremely cold.

in order to catch her breath, she simply went out to look for a job and asked her husband to look after the children and do housework together.

when she saw that her husband had bought an omelet for her daughter that would litter everywhere, she did not remind her husband, but watched her husband clean up the omelet alone.

No matter how busy the husband is, she will not interfere as long as it is her turn to take the child to do the housework.

before long, her husband finally understood her difficulties over the years and was full of gratitude to her.

there are fewer and fewer disputes between the two, and the days are getting sweeter and sweeter.

Love is too deep to live long, but wisdom is bound to hurt.

Smart people often don't give unreservedly, they always leave three points of space for themselves.

because they know very well that if they give unreservedly, they will inevitably want something in return.

if you don't get the return on time, you are bound to be lost.

if you lose more, you will feel resentful.

when there is resentment, you will not be reconciled, life will be sad, and the relationship will not last long.

leave yourself three points blank, don't pour out everything, the relationship will be happy.

after reading thousands of things in the world, I just know: family affection, friendship, or love.

A relationship that is too hard is doomed to last; those who love too much are doomed to be scarred.

A truly comfortable relationship is never a closeness, but a closeness, but a gap.

as Bai Luomei said:

"True love, light and smooth, is placed there quietly, and it never needs too much effort."

, may you and I know how to make room for others, give ourselves a way out, and have the feelings of Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling) in the future.