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someone on Zhihu asked, "what is the source of one's pain?"

one highly praised answer was particularly gripping: "have high expectations for everything."

but the reality is that everyone is in a state of high expectations:

he went on a hunger strike with his partner angrily, thinking that he would bring the meal to the bedside for forgiveness, only to find that the other person chose to turn a blind eye.

elaborate P map for half an hour, hoping to get a lot of likes after posting moments, but there has been no movement for a long time.

stay up late to finish a copy, eager to be praised by the leader after handing it in, but there is no comment.

We are always looking forward to everything, and finally we find out:

not all expectations will be answered, and more often they will only add to their own pain.

all disappointments stem from expectations that they should not have.

"low expectations" is the best posture in life.

High expectations are besieging your life

in "allow yourself to waste your time," Ma de wrote this paragraph:

"I gradually understand why I am unhappy, because I am always looking forward to a result.

read a book and expect it to make me deep;

eat and swim, expect it to make me lose a jin;

be nice to others and expect to be treated back. "

if everything is set for a purpose and all efforts are expected, life is tantamount to setting up its own predicament.

my friend told me not long ago that my son Yuanyuan has been decadent since he went to college.

Yuanyuan has been excellent in character and learning since childhood. In every simulation exam in the third year of senior high school, she scored above the admission line of Tsinghua University.

therefore, Yuanyuan has always regarded Tsinghua University as her ultimate goal.

but no one expected that Yuanyuan failed in the final college entrance examination and was only admitted to Xi'an Jiaotong University.

in the eyes of ordinary people, this is also a very good result.

but Yuanyuan was hit hard because of this, and she was not interested in anything. Even if she went to college, she lost her vitality like a bird in a cage.

many people in life often pour all their hopes into one thing, and if they fail, they will never recover.

do not realize that only by lowering the expectation of "success at one stroke" can we calmly face the ups and downs of life and have the courage to start anew.

really smart people always have the lowest expectations for life.

Xiao Li and Xiao Wang are employees of the same company. Affected by the epidemic, the company is preparing to lay off staff.

Xiao Li and Xiao Wang are unfortunately on the list of layoffs, but their coping methods are completely different.

Xiao Li was not convinced by the company's decision, so he went to the leadership theory and got nothing.

Xiao Wang was very calm about layoffs. Facing Xiao Li's confusion, he said:

"the general environment is not good now, and I don't have a 100% attitude towards the company, so I expected this result for a long time."

"disqualification in the world" says:

"if there is no excessive joy, there will be no extreme sadness.

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expectations. Without high expectations, there will be no major disappointment.

in the sea of life, dissatisfaction is the norm. Blindly high expectations are tantamount to enclosure and self-hardship.

you might as well be comfortable with everything and take the initiative to get out of the predicament of high expectations in order to find the loveliness of life.

High expectations are ruining your relationship

Xiao Fen and her boyfriend have been in love for eight years, but they broke up not long ago.

Family and friends feel sorry for this.

when the boy overcame all difficulties, gave up his high-paying career in his hometown and followed Xiaofen to a small county, how could such a deep emotion suddenly break up?

under the close examination of his family, the boy told the truth:

although Xiaofen is generous, she is very grumpy. What annoys him most is that Xiaofen often gives him all kinds of demands.

Last year, 520 bought famous-brand bags, but this year we must buy better ones.

when her best friend lives in a big villa after getting married, he must prepare the big villa before marriage;

my friend has changed cars. He must change to a better one.

if the boy couldn't do it, Xiao Fen said mercilessly, "Why are you so useless?"

at first, boys responded to everything Xiaofen asked for.

until this wedding, Xiao Fen ignored the epidemic and insisted on an island wedding. The boy couldn't stand it any longer, so he left with a message:

"I'll never meet your expectations. Break up."

writer Liao Yimei said:

"the less people need others, the more comfortable and peaceful they will live.

No one, even if he wants to, can not fully meet the needs of another person. "

there is nothing wrong with pursuing a better life.

Xiaofen's mistake is that she has always had unrealistic illusions about her boyfriend.

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No matter how much you can get on tiptoe, it is reasonable and reasonable;

but expectations beyond the limits of ability, even if only one, are suffocating.

unfulfilled high expectations are the biggest destroyers of relationships.

if you complain for a lifetime, your feelings will no longer be harmonious and your life will no longer be peaceful.

want the relationship to last longFor a long time, you must learn to lower your expectations.

lowering is not undemanding, but a more rational way to look at your partner's strengths and weaknesses, encourage each other and make progress together.

put aside high expectations and accumulate your own strength

Sanmao once said:

"it's not good to expect too much. You have to bear your own future and mood, and who can really share it?"

instead of counting on others to share for yourself, it is better to be the master.

have seen such a story:

A young man was crossing the river by boat and accidentally fell into the water.

A small boat passed by and asked him if he needed help. The young man waved his hand and refused, saying that God would come to save him.

after a while, another ship came, and the young man still refused.

later, the young man drowned, and when he went to heaven, he asked God, "God, why didn't you come and save me?"

God replied angrily, "I've sent two ships to save you, fool!"

Napoleon said:

"there are not enough people to rely on, but you have to rely on yourself to survive."

if you put your fate in the hands of others, you can only be down and out in the end.

only when we let go of our high expectations of others and accumulate our own strength can we make the road of life wider and wider.

Liz, the heroine in the movie "Harford Road in Wind and Rain", is a wise person who does not ask others, but herself.

she was born in a slum, her father went to a shelter for crime, and her mother not only drank alcohol but also suffered from severe schizophrenia.

but unlike other people in trouble, she is always waiting for the redemption of others.

the burden of life makes her more aware that only by herself can she accomplish herself.

she strives for the opportunity to study, taking a part-time job and taking classes at the same time. When she can come back in the evening, she reads by the dim street lamp.

two years later, Liz finished all his high school courses ahead of schedule, became an outstanding graduate and was admitted to Harvard University.

like a passage from Wang Guozhen:

"opportunity, fight for it by yourself; fate, grasp by yourself;

Life is your own drawing board, so why rely on others for coloring? "

the best way to face suffering is not to expect generous help from others, but to make yourself strong enough to move forward without fear of wind and rain.

Life, there is no wonderful expected, only rely on their own strength to struggle out of the brilliant.

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Zheng Yuanjie said:

"pinning your hopes on others means leaving disappointment to yourself and your life will fall into passivity."

only those who are full of hope for themselves and have no illusions about others can grasp the initiative in life.

only those who get rid of their dependence on others and focus on their own improvement can become the lucky ones in life.

and when you learn to face the wind and rain of life with a low-expectation attitude, you will find:

the eyes are full of surprises, and all you meet are good people.

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