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duhaoshu

I have heard a sentence:

"once some secrets are spoken, the scourge has an entrance."

I have deep feelings.

I have seen too many people to tell what to say and what not to say.

it is well known that they speak freely in front of outsiders and even use family private matters as a source of conversation.

but I don't want to lose my tongue and bring unnecessary trouble to my family and myself.

the greatest sorrow of a family is not that they have no money, but that they have told outsiders about these three privacy.

showing off family income

I often hear people say, "Wealth is not exposed, wealth is not exposed."

but in real life, there are always some people who show off their family's income as capital to show off.

as a result, he screwed himself as well as his family.

in the Little Red Book, a wife posted her husband's income certificate.

the above shows that the income of this employee is as high as tens of thousands of yuan.

post was sent, it soon caused a heated discussion.

some netizens expressed envy and envy, while others reminded the blogger to pay attention to the company's salary confidentiality system.

but she replied nonchalantly:

"my husband's salary hasn't reached the per capita level yet!"

see that this blogger does not listen to advice, some netizens privately trust her to pay attention to the influence and tell the object of the matter.

the blogger said:

"you really have a lot of control. My husband has my account. Tell me about your psychology."

as things went on, the blogger's chat was quickly exposed on other social platforms.

and the blogger was also under pressure to cancel his account.

I wanted to poke and show off my wealth, but I turned into a man of strength, which is ridiculous and lamentable.

I have heard a proverb: "Pride comes before a fall."

in many cases, money and fame tend to inflate people's vanity.

when it expands to a certain extent, it will be like a bubble and blow up the original things with a bang.

some people are so blinded by money that they always want to show off and make others jealous of themselves.

do not realize that comparison and jealousy are the catalysts of disaster.

the more complacent you are, the more likely you are to get into trouble.

when someone found out the loophole and was overwhelmed, he found that it was too late to repent.

people who are really smart all know how to be cautious in their words and deeds and keep a low profile.

does not show off his salary, nor does he reveal his family background.

you don't know how many people are jealous of you in full view of the public;

I don't know what kind of disaster my careless words will lead to.

as the saying goes, don't be arrogant when you have a lot of money, and you can't be proud of yourself when you take credit.

keep your mouth shut, and you will keep your luck and wealth for a lifetime.

declare the contradiction between husband and wife

I have seen a post from a netizen and sighed with emotion.

netizens said that his husband likes to snitch, and every time he quarrels, he has to let his brothers judge.

recently, she quarreled with her husband, and no one wants to admit their mistakes.

under the standoff, her husband secretly took a screenshot of their chat and asked the friends around him who was right and who was wrong.

as a result, friends all sided with her husband, accusing her of being unreasonable and impersonal.

when he goes to bed at night, the husband sends the conversation with his friends to his wife.

the wife was very embarrassed when she saw the chat.

she asked her husband why she always told others about the quarrel.

husband answers:

"you have been slow to admit your mistake, of course I just want to ask an outsider for an answer."

the wife got angrier and retorted:

"of course your friends help you! If you don't think about it, how can I face them in the future if your friends say so? "

but the husband firmly did not believe this sentence, but felt that his wife was very malicious to his friends.

in the post, the wife said disappointedly:

"perhaps in his world, only black and white is the most reasonable.

it is difficult for him to understand that even if he forces the other party to admit his mistake, the emotional depletion will damage the feelings of both sides.

if you go on like this over and over again, your energy will be exhausted.

I am very scared. What will he do if he finds friends to isolate me and criticize me?

can I still walk with him by then? "

makes people sigh.

the dispute between husband and wife was originally a matter between two people, but when it rose to the level of crowds, it changed.

even if you win the truth and lose your feelings, it is meaningless.

John Gottman, a professor of marriage and love, once proposed that one of the core factors in the breakdown of a marriage is the "anti-partner alliance."

when one party in a marriage unites a "third person" against the other, then the isolated party feels excluded and hurt.

in the long run, intimate relationships will also break up in hostility.

in real life, there are always some people who want to make their partner keep a low profile and admit defeat with the help of the pressure of public opinion.

but never thought that I had lost the best love and the most true love in the calculation again and again..

since husband and wife have decided to hold hands all their lives, they should watch and help each other.

reach a tacit understanding in front of people, maintain decency; take a step back and understand each other.

know how to keep a proper balance and not be honest with outsiders at will in order to keep the stability and happiness of marriage.

talk about children's private affairs

there is a hot question on Zhihu:

"parents always like to tell outsiders about themselves. What is the experience?"

many netizens shared their experiences in the comments section.

some people say:

"I just talked about a girlfriend, and out of respect, I told my parents.

but my father turned around and told his relatives about it, so that as soon as I got back to my hometown, people questioned me:

'how's your girlfriend? Why didn't you bring it back? When will you get married?'

Oh, my God, I've only been talking about it for two months. Wouldn't it be too embarrassing if it didn't work out? "

others say:

"once at dinner, I casually mentioned that I wanted to resign and take the graduate entrance examination.

as a result, my mother turned around and told my neighbor which school and major I wanted to take. I wish everyone knew about my postgraduate entrance exam.

later, when I went out and went upstairs, my neighbors would ask me how I was getting ready.

it happened that I didn't do well in the exam, and people came to comfort me, which made me very uncomfortable. "

Yes

Ah, there are corners in everyone's heart that they do not want to be set foot in by outsiders.

telling outsiders about their children's private affairs, especially those that have not yet been determined, without their permission, will undoubtedly cause great trouble to them.

Don't think that children are brought into the world by themselves, so you can cross the line at will and use their private affairs as a source of conversation.

there are some things that children are willing to tell their parents is trust, but parents say to outsiders, it is betrayal.

when such betrayals occur one after another, the rift between children and parents will become bigger and bigger.

in the long run, children will only find ways to escape from their parents, and it will be difficult for the feelings between parents and children to return to the past.

Hellinger, a master of psychology, has a famous saying:

"A good family must have a sense of boundaries."

parents with patterns regard their children as independent individuals.

before doing anything, consult your children to protect their mental space.

there is a saying in the Analects of Confucius: "do not speak with words, but with words, slip the tongue."

it is inappropriate to tell privacy to people who cannot.

Dress and appear sumptuous in our fashionable cheap flower girl dresses. Our collections are versatile enough to suit any figure.

the same is true for a family.

if you show off your wealth everywhere, you will only fall victim to it.

the conflicts between husband and wife will only lose face if they speak out at will;

telling outsiders about the privacy of children will only hurt their feelings.

people who are really wise know how to respect their relatives and keep a balance.

if you don't say all your words to the outside world, you can have an understanding of your heart, so that your relatives can live in harmony, your family and your life will be safe.

, may we all use our wisdom to run our own small family, respect and love each other, respect each other, and warm the rest of our lives.