Harvard University spent 75 years doing a follow-up study and found that:

"people's happiness does not come from money, status and other things that most people pursue, but from good interpersonal relationships."

if your relationships are not handled well, your life will become a mess.

in fact, human-to-human interaction also has potential rules.

by mastering the following four laws of interpersonal relationship, you can reap the truth and make your life easier and easier.

Law of interpersonal reciprocity

Cornell University professor once did an experiment.

he asked two assistants to work with two strangers to rate dozens of the same paintings.

it was hot at that time. During the break, one of the assistants went to the supermarket to buy two bottles of water and gave one to his collaborator.

while the other assistant only bought his own bottle of water, without considering his collaborator at all.

score, the two assistants simultaneously asked their respective collaborators for a small favor.

the first collaborator agreed without hesitation, while the second chose an euphemistic refusal.

this is the law of reciprocity in psychology:

you have given me a favor, and I am willing to help you. "

Qian Zhongshu and his family once lived idle in Shanghai for a period of time, with no income and a difficult life.

after director Huang Zuolin knew about it, he invested in shooting Yang Jiang's comedy without saying a word, and immediately sent a reward to the Qian family.

with this sum of money, Qian Zhongshu and his family tide over the difficulties.

later, in 1990, Huang Zulin's daughter, Huang Shuqin, encountered a bottleneck on her way to work as a director.

at that time, someone recommended to her that Fortress besieged was a very good script.

but Qian Zhongshu has long declined to the outside world, saying that "it is not appropriate for my work to be on the screen." many well-known directors have been shut out of the door when they ask for authorization.

Huang Shuqin decided to visit and knocked on the door of Qian Zhongshu's house.

when Qian Zhongshu learned that it was Huang Zuolin's daughter, he immediately patted the table to grant the right to adapt the film and TV series of "besieged Fortress", and said:

niece Huang Shuqin, no pressure, no matter whether it is good or not, we will support you.

the communication between people is a heart-to-heart exchange.

if you pull the person who falls down, he will also want to give you a hand when you are in trouble in the future.

you take a shift for your colleagues, and your colleagues are willing to give you convenience when you need it.

helping others is an act of kindness, and at the same time, it will form a good relationship.

A person who has someone else in his heart will not be unpopular.

interpersonal similarity

means that if there are similarities between two people, it is easy to make people feel satisfied.

as a result, the similarity between people can increase their attraction to each other.

the three values are the same, and people with similar interests can always meet inadvertently.

Chen Yinke and Fu Sinian, they can forge a deep friendship because of their similarity.

in the study circle in Berlin, Germany at that time, few people concentrated on their studies, with the exception of Chen Yinke.

when other people get together and chat, he is buried in books; his classmates are all in love, and he has never been involved in it.

Fu Si-nien is a "nerd". Wherever he goes, he will carry a large bag full of books.

after they met in Berlin, they hit it off and became good friends.

at that time, people studying abroad were cut off from their financial resources, and others were trying to find ways to do odd jobs to make ends meet.

but they didn't care at all. They bought the cheapest bread every morning, then dived into the library and didn't come out until it was closed.

the two stayed in the library all day, eating old bread and laughing at each other.

later, Fu Si-nien, who originally studied physics, under the influence of Chen Yinke, actually changed his major to the other person's favorite linguistics.

the two take classes together during the day, discuss each other's studies, and even go to sleep at night.

how big the world is and how many foreign students are, but their meticulous pursuit of scholarship makes them attract each other somehow.

have heard a sentence, corresponding to the same voice, asking for the same thing.

what kind of person you are, that's what you attract.

even across the mountains and the sea, someone similar to you will approach you, approach you, and nourish you.

so don't worry about being alone.

what kind of person you want to be with, try to be that kind of person first.

interpersonal agreeability

once a head teacher did an experiment.

he asked the students to write the names of their favorite classmates on the cards.

it was found that the student who wrote the most names on the cards also had the most names on other cards.

this is the "law of interpersonal pleasure" in psychology:

if you appreciate others, they will appreciate you.

when Eisenhower first worked, he had a boss who was difficult to deal with.

the boss always kept a straight face, and no matter who made a small mistake, he didn't give a good face, but he was kind to Eisenhower and seldom lost his temper.

other colleagues were curious about this and thought Eisenhower had a background.

Eisenhower explained:

"every time I meet him, I imagine him smiling at me, and then I smile back at him."

in fact, the boss didn't care about his smile at first, but Eisenhower didn't mind and smiled every time we met.

until one day, the boss smiled at him, then said hello from time to time, and then the two talked more and more.

Carnegie said: "butchers, bakers and even emperors on the throne all like people to be kind to them."

A person with a smile, no matter how serious he is, will smile at you.

When you choose straight wedding dresses collection, you will be making your best decision ever. The collection is in different beautiful materials.

those who love others will always love them; those who respect others will always respect them.

only when you convey goodwill to others will others give you warmth.

interpersonal complementarity

in 1953, psychologist Suvillivan put forward the theory of interpersonal complementarity.

everyone's personality is flawed, and life is complete only if we find someone who can make up for it.

have read the story of Bill Gates and Ballmer.

Bill Gates is a genius in computer science. Under the guidance of his technical ability, Microsoft has developed smoothly.

but in the face of a growing company, he began to make difficulties.

he is introverted, silent and not good at communicating with others.

Managing employees and going out to discuss business have become hard bones for him to overcome.

until he invited his college friend Ballmer.

Ballmer was born outgoing, enthusiastic, speaks with a great sense of humor, and likes to deal with people best.

when he was at Harvard, he was able to serve as an administrator of four or five community organizations.

Bill Gates has Ballmer, and Microsoft's shortcomings have been made up.

they are introverted and extroverted; one is cold and serious, the other is passionate.

they have completely different personalities, but they share the same character and complement each other.

it is precisely because of this complementarity that Bill Gates can concentrate on being a "tech nerd", and Ballmer is also happy to run the company.

Microsoft is booming, and the relationship between the two is getting deeper and deeper.

Laozi said, "all things look like each other, high and low, sound and sound, and follow each other."

each of us is like a semicircle, and the whole life is to find the other half who is complementary to us.

only when two complementary semicircles meet and combine can we achieve happiness and perfection.

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Hal's Mobile Castle says:

"No matter who meets, knows and defends in the vast sea of people, it will not be plain sailing."

whether it is love or friendship, the establishment of every relationship is actually the blessing that we have experienced many hardships in our previous life.

meet in heaven, stay with people.

understand these four laws of interpersonal relationship, be grateful for every encounter and cherish every fate.

, may you use a true heart in exchange for a long-term acquaintance.