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Insight

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see such a picture.

A person fights with another "self" and turns to others for help.

this is the root of mental internal friction.

most of the time, it is not the pressure and bondage from the outside that keeps us trapped, but because we refuse to let go of ourselves.

complaining is torturing yourself

Spencer, author of who moved my Cheese, has a friend named Charlie.

Charlie is an excellent host of track and field events and a "pillar" in the unit.

but suddenly one day, the leader told him that the next sports meeting would no longer broadcast track and field events, but instead swimming and diving.

he was full of grievances and repeatedly challenged his leader.

gradually, he was marginalized, no longer the best among his colleagues, and there was no chance of promotion.

he complained to Spencer, and Spencer told him the story of cheese.

after careful consideration, Charlie no longer obsessed with "who moved my cheese", but actively looking for new cheese.

he began to study swimming and diving seriously, and a month later, Charlie patted his chest and assured the leader that he was fully qualified for the new job.

as a result, he returned to the pinnacle of his career with professional commentary.

psychologist Yu Deji once said:

"there are challenges all the time in life. Challenges themselves do not bring pain. Internal friction caused by self-struggle is the root cause of pain."

there are few things in the world that come true, but a lot of them are slapped in the face of life.

blindly complain, but chew the pain repeatedly; only when you let go can you see the glimmer of light in the haze.

being oversensitive means making things difficult for yourself

A Dream of Red Mansions has such a plot:

while Daiyu was resting in her room, she suddenly heard someone outside shouting, "you useless little hoof, what are you, running into this yard all day?"

when Daiyu heard this, she felt that the other person was referring to herself, and cried and fainted.

in fact, the man was just lecturing his granddaughter.

thick face, deafness, not tired to live; everything into the heart, live to suffer.

if you don't put away your sensitive tentacles, you will suffer in the end.

once read a cartoon by Wu Zhihong, the heroine is a delicate girl.

when she was reporting on her work, she happened to see her boss frown and speculated nervously that she spoke too badly.

until the boss came over and said, "this week's data is very good, keep going."

she just put down the stone in her heart.

when she came out of the bathroom, she saw her colleagues drinking milk tea.

the hostess felt that they did not call themselves even if they bought milk tea, and suddenly felt isolated.

so he began to hurt spring and autumn again: "sure enough, no one likes me."

I didn't expect that after work, my colleague asked her to eat her favorite hot pot.

later, when she received a call from Sister Zhang of the company, she remembered the material that Sister Zhang asked her to help translate, which she had not finished yet.

so she apologized nervously to Sister Zhang, but Sister Zhang said, "it's all right, no need."

now she feels more guilty. After hanging up the phone, she has been wondering if Sister Zhang is very disappointed.

Sister Zhang told her that it was all right. She recently hired an intern and handed over the translation work to the intern.

this is the case with people who are too sensitive. A casual word, a look, and an action from others can set off waves in their hearts.

living in the opinions of others and living in your own inner play, it is easy to add a lot of boredom and burden to yourself.

when we let go of the eyes of the outside world, we pull out the thorns in our hearts.

if you entangle too much, you will hurt yourself

others feel angry for him, but Picasso doesn't care. When he sees someone falsifying his painting, he only blots out the forged signature at most.

Picasso sees it this way:

the counterfeiters are either poor painters or old friends, so why embarrass them.

those experts who identify the authentic works also have to eat, and I have nothing to lose.

Picasso believes that it is his mood that is ruined by blindly competing.

We should have uncompetitive wisdom in life, welcome things when they come, and turn things over.

the philosopher Thomas Carlisle wrote his first book at the age of 40.

after writing the last page, he could not restrain his excitement and went for a walk in the yard to calm down.

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after he left the study, a gust of wind blew and the manuscript fell to the ground.

when the maid who delivered tea saw it, she thought it was the waste paper discarded by the owner, so she threw it into the stove.

when Carlisle came back and learned that the work had been reduced to ashes, he fell into deep frustration and despair.

during that time, Carlisle was in a trance every day and couldn't eat.I can't sleep well either.

until one day, when he looked up at his calendar, he was surprised to realize that three months had passed and he had done nothing but chagrin.

learning from the bitter experience, he decided to forget about it.

three years later, he wrote three volumes of works, which established himself as a master in academic circles.

when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss stares at you.

the more you dwell on a piece of crap, the more you lose.

getting out in time is the best salvation for yourself.

if you think too much, you will bring yourself down

Carnegie, a master of interpersonal relations, spent his childhood on a farm.

one day, while helping his mother pick cherries, he began to cry.

Mother asked, "Why are you crying?"

he choked and said, "I'm scared."

when the storm came, he was afraid of being killed by lightning.

when times are tough, he is worried that there is not enough food to eat.

he is afraid that girls will make fun of him when he takes off his hat and bows to them;

he is afraid that no girl will marry him in the future;

he also worries about what is the first thing he should say to his wife after marriage.

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these problems haunt Carnegie and make him suffer.

as the years passed, Carnegie grew up.

he found that almost all the things that had frightened him had not happened.

sociologist hochschild mentions a theory called "emotional labor".

the main idea is that in addition to daily physical and mental work, there is also a kind of neglected labor, that is, emotional labor.

when a person is excessively anxious and obsessed with the future, he will fall into huge consumption.

if you worry about everything, the backpack will get heavier and heavier, and the road under your feet will become more and more bumpy.

the best mentality is:

when the situation is uncertain, go all out to pursue the result; when the dust settles, accept any result calmly.

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there is a three-sided pillar in the consultation room of the famous Austrian psychologist Adler.

pillar is engraved with "I am pathetic".

the other side is engraved with "others are abominable".

the third side is engraved with "what to do".

every time a visitor comes to his consulting room, he takes out his three-sided pillar and asks the visitor, "what do you choose to talk about?"

just stare at the first two topics and can never reconcile with yourself.

when we let go of the feelings of blaming others and pity ourselves, those insurmountable ravines and dangerous ditches are just the shoals of life.

author

: insight into ciyu, come