I read a question on the Internet earlier: what is the best way to keep in good health when you reach middle age?

someone abstracted a nine-character motto: no overdraft, no exacting, no comparison.

break: obsession

once read a question on the Internet: "what is the source of one's pain?"

A high praise replied:

"there is always a strict judge who requires himself to be perfect in everything. Once he fails to achieve it, he will be anxious, out of balance, and fall into great internal friction."

host Bai Yansong already played a big role in CCTV at the age of 32.

whenever it is the stage of a large-scale program, there is always a spotlight that belongs to him.

at that time, he held several positions, not only involved in the recording of programs in sports, entertainment, news and other fields, but also as a producer of three programs.

in his work, he is very strict with himself.

if he makes a small mistake occasionally, he will blame himself for many days; if something is a little unsatisfactory, he will push the whole link down and start all over again.

constantly whipping himself and striving for progress has indeed made him a perfect host in the eyes of others.

but he didn't get the happiness he imagined.

Bai Yansong began to lose a lot of hair, his physical condition was also frequent, and he had to stop work for a year because of both physical and mental torture.

that year, he gave up his work, read quietly every day, and looked inward.

he said that in the process of combing his life, he realized a truth:

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"the quickest way to destroy a person is to let him pursue perfection."

as the saying goes, things will turn around at the extreme. People who work too hard will not go far, and if they pursue perfection too much, life will be full of loopholes.

recalling the first half of his life, the author said something very sad:

"I used to be the kind of person who lived every day and every hour clearly and reasonably. I asked myself to do everything, and I never wasted my time.

but now if I can live again, I will no longer pursue perfection and push myself so cruelly.

I will be a little confused and no longer so shrewd; I will rest more and learn to live with what happens.

in early spring, I will go to the suburbs to go for an outing and enjoy the flowers. When the sun sets, I will take my children on the merry-go-round. "

it is not until middle age that people understand that living a life does not need such a grand ceremony, and that the true meaning of happiness lies in inner self-sufficiency and calm.

Life is like a play, you don't have to be too strict about the perfection of your performance.

it is better to look at the mountains that cannot be reached from a distance; it is not a relief to calmly give up what is beyond your reach.

it is mature to give up the obsession of pursuing perfection and make peace with the ordinary self.

give up: keep up with the comparison

in the book Let yourself lead a miserable Life, Dan Greenberg once said:

"if you want to live a miserable life, compare it with others."

people who are keen on comparison always humiliate themselves with people from different starting points.

other people's good, will set off their unbearable, other people's possession, let them often haunt.

I have a classmate who was born in the northwest countryside.

with extreme hard work and self-discipline, he was admitted to 211 University and successfully took root in the big city after graduation.

it can be said that he is a very inspirational and excellent person I know.

however, he is not satisfied with the present situation.

friends who have received gifts from fate for their hard work and self-discipline began to fight against the injustice of fate with anger and perfunctory.

because always love to compare with others, does not stimulate greater potential, on the contrary, let my classmate into a dilemma.

whether a person can live a comfortable life does not depend on the amount of wealth, but on the degree of self-recognition.

the author of "the World is worth it", when asked about the secret of happiness, said only three words: no comparison.

others have other people's lives, but they have their own tracks.

Let go of your inner desire for comparison and live in your own rhythm.

as Mr. Yang Jiang said:

"the only thing in the world that cannot be repeated is life, how to go and what kind of life to live depends on your own efforts and choices."

you can't find the way you want to go in other people's maps.

leave: social

A he, a writer, once wrote the story of Lao Ma.

A few years ago, Lao Ma joined a new company. In order to integrate into his colleagues as soon as possible, he would take an active part in any dinner.

for some new clients, he will also ask for a meal if he has nothing to do.

after a long time, his wallet was shrunk, his wife and children were more resentful, and his health collapsed.

because he drank all the year round, he was not only found to be "three high", but alsoI have severe gout.

later, he changed his idle job because of his health, and his former colleague soon became a string of numbers in the address book.

not to mention the clients he took great care of, they only followed him to eat and drink for free. after all, in the eyes of clients, reliability and professionalism are king.

mixed into middle age, he still achieved nothing, and the sick old horse realized that the previous games were just false hustle and bustle.

Why do you tell the story of Lao Ma?

because people like Lao Ma are everywhere in life.

they hang out at all kinds of dinners and wine bureaus either for friendship, or for the sake of face and connections.

at the end of the drink, only the aggrieved family members and the declining body are left.

it is not until middle age that people begin to understand that good health begins with giving up meaningless social meals.

famous mouth Liang Hongda once mentioned in a program that many of his friends are night owls and often organize dinners in the middle of the night.

Lao Liang said that he was too old to struggle, so he often refused invitations from friends.

my friends also expressed their understanding and would not force him to participate in a game they did not like.

far away from Lao Liang of the Liquor Bureau, not only did he not lose friends, but his health and life became better.

in our thirties and forties, we are well past the age of proving ourselves at dinner and relying on the wine bureau to maintain our relationship.

people who care about you won't alienate you because you drink less, and people who recognize your strength won't look down on you just because you didn't attend a party.

in the second half of life, only your body is your long-term partner, and your family is the harbor behind you.

▽

A writer I like very much once said:

"before the age of 30, you have to add to your life to make life more possible."

30, this state is going to converge, and you have to do a subtraction to reorganize your life. "

it is not until middle age that people understand that the best way to maintain good health is to break up.

give up meaningless socializing, give up the obsession with perfection, and let go of blind comparison with others.