psychologist Adler said:

"all human troubles come from interpersonal relationships."

where there are people, there are rivers and lakes, and when people communicate with each other, there are always some unspeakable mysteries.

different social patterns determine the direction of a relationship.

A dull man can't move an inch, but a thorough man is like a fish in water.

Today, my uncle has sorted out the 10 most explicit social hidden rules to help you bid farewell to social troubles and gain good popularity.

01

few people really hope you have a good life

Life is about experiencing and feeling.

having seen the warmth of human feelings and tasted the coolness of the world, I have become more and more aware that few people really hope that you are better off than he is.

when you are at a low ebb, don't place too much hope on others. The only one you can really rely on is yourself.

there are many people willing to accompany you to enjoy happiness, but few people are willing to accompany you to endure hardships.

when you achieve something, don't show off to the people around you.

not many people admire you, but many people are jealous of you.

there is a kind of evil in human nature that you can't see that you are better off than him.

but life is your own and has nothing to do with others.

get through the hard days by yourself, and feel the sweet days by yourself.

just share your joys and sorrows with the important people around you.

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apart from those who are dearest, others really don't care that much.

02

when you are useful, you have the most friends

No one asks the poor in the busy city, but the rich has distant relatives in the mountains.

there is a scale in everyone's heart to measure whether a person is worth in-depth communication.

the number of friends depends on your "use value".

in the adult world, interests may not be greater than feelings, but emotional exchanges are symbiotic with interests.

Fan Jin in the Outer History of the Scholars is the best example.

in the middle lift, the neighbors immediately changed their faces and came to make friends one after another.

the essence of social interaction is mutual benefit.

if you are useful, there must be someone behind you.

if you are useless, people will look cold everywhere.

if you want to fit into a circle, you have to have equal value.

Adult friendship, half interest, half affection.

enhance your own value in order to have more weight in interpersonal communication.

03

there is no debate about right and wrong in the world.

are all arguments between right and right

Children fight for right and wrong, adults only look at the pros and cons.

everything has to be clear and right or wrong, but it is a meaningless consumption.

the following picture has caused controversy on the Internet:

some people say that the lioness is holding the cub; some people think that the lioness wants to eat the cub in one bite.

they all come to a conclusion based on their own perspective, and no one can convince each other if the argument goes on.

it makes no sense except to waste unnecessary energy.

get along with people from different angles, it is difficult to distinguish between right and wrong; with different levels, there is no need to argue.

instead of arguing for a red face, it is better to smile calmly, brush your sleeves and go away to reduce unnecessary troubles.

it is a wise choice to be good about yourself, not persistent, not competitive.

Don't fight for right or wrong, learn to listen; Don't fight for right or wrong, try to agree;

Don't fight for right or wrong, know how to respect; Don't fight for right or wrong, life goes well.

04

Don't take nice things seriously,

"unpleasant words" should be distracted

fame and joy, smell and anger, is a person's normal emotional feedback.

Sweet words go to the heart and everyone likes to hear them; good words go against the ear and are always disgusted.

but only those who care about you will say good words to you, and those who tease you will say good words again and again.

Liu Bang listens to other people's criticisms and suggestions and avoids his own mistakes in time.

from a place where ordinary people become the son of Heaven.

his opponent Xiang Yu's ability is not poor, only because he is headstrong and does not listen to the advice of his father Fan Zeng.

finally Wujiang cut his own throat and became a tragic hero.

it is also a kind of knowledge and wisdom to listen, to understand the "good words" and to distinguish between right and wrong.

when you get along with others, you should have clear eyes, a clear head and good ears.

good words are not true, but good advice is right from the heart.

people's hearts are complicated, so you have to know how to distinguish.

beware of honeyed words and well-intentioned criticism.

05

No response, just reject

in dealing with people, you must understand this truth:

No matter who you are chatting with, you should stop at the end of the conversation and keep boundaries.

it's pointless for you to go on and on when others are impatient.

Adult communication, silence is better than voice, do not need too much language.

if you don't respond, you will get the best response.

people will encounter all kinds of things in this life, and silence is an attitude.

you can have obsession, but don't be obstinate.

We should realize each other's attitude in silent language.

Don't be affectionate and tall.Estimate your position in the other person's mind.

if you can't make others like it, don't bother you all the time.

people who are not in tune with each other need not be forced to turn around and leave without breaking the window paper and leaving enough dignity for each other.

06

allow yourself to be yourself, allow others to be others

A netizen asked on Zhihu:

"I can't stand some people. I get bored when I see them, but I have to get along with him every day. What should I do?"

We can't make everyone like ourselves, nor can we like everyone.

it is better to make flowers become flowers, trees become trees, make yourself become yourself, and let others become others.

the best way to dislike a person is to:

ignore him and devote his limited energy to more important things.

stay away from him, out of sight and out of mind. Instead of pestering him endlessly, it is better to stay away and save yourself.

in the journey of life, many people are just passers-by, there is no need to walk in different ways.

stick to what you like, respect what you don't understand, and do what you have to do.

if you are not idle, you will be blessed. People who have nothing to do with it are not worth getting angry with.

07

what is the most nutritious thing to eat? Suffer losses

some people think that losing is a kind of loss and a sign of cowardice.

that is a failure to understand the deep meaning of "losing".

the real loss is not to let yourself be hurt, but to be tolerant and generous to others.

to suffer losses is a kind of wisdom, not to be quick at the moment.

forgive others and forgive others, suffer a little loss in the mouth, and gain peace of mind.

to suffer a loss is a kind of giving, and there is a loss and a gain.

when you don't care about personal interests and really think about others, you will naturally win the respect and trust of others and accumulate good contacts.

suffering losses is a kind of growth, suffering a fall, and gaining wisdom.

only by suffering from losses can you impress yourself, learn from experiences and lessons, and grow rapidly in the midst of tribulations.

in life, those who know how to suffer losses will not suffer losses after all, and those who suffer too many losses will be rewarded with blessings.

those who seem shrewd and like to take advantage do not take much advantage in the end, but lose their virtue.

08

always raise your hand, don't stand on tiptoe to help

help others do what they can, and refuse what you can't do.

since you are a "clay Bodhisattva", don't always think about crossing people.

this is not indifference, but calmness.

try your best to help, it's okay to get things done.

if you screw up, not only will you suffer, but the other person will also be dissatisfied.

this goes against the original intention of the original gang.

raise your hand, help if you can; refuse if you can, refuse if you can.

knowing how to reject others can avoid 80% of the troubles in life.

Don't be afraid to offend people by refusing.

A true friend will only understand your difficulties, not force others to make them difficult.

you don't have to socialize with friends who just want to take advantage of you.

09

90% of the people who cheated you will cheat you for the second time

cheating is only zero and countless times, for those who have deceived you, be sure to stay away.

Don't be too honest and trust others easily.

A good horse is ridden, and a good man is deceived.

there is a word called Kill.

the business of ripping people off is best for acquaintances.

when people are familiar with each other, they will relax their vigilance and be easy to trust.

for the "acquaintances" around you, you should keep your eyes open and pay close attention to them.

once fooled, once stumbled, you will learn a lesson.

Don't forgive easily, don't put away your kindness; don't trust others, keep rational.

you can be harmless, but you must be defensive.

kindness brings some edge, which is a sharp weapon to protect yourself.

be cautious for a moment, be prudent for a lifetime, and be prudent for a lifetime.

10

the more familiar you are, the more familiar you will be

it is difficult to last long for the feelings fostered by young people.

people who approach you at ten times the speed will also leave at ten times the speed.

Friendship, which has not been tested by time, is in vain after all.

the tree is broken, but the heart cannot be tested.

the more you shake your tail and ingratiate yourself when you are in power, the more likely it is to be the last one to stab you.

all acquaintances of interests will be dispersed as much as possible.

"you can only say three points to everyone, but you can't throw one heart at all."

in the journey of life, many people accompany you, but few people accompany you for the rest of your life.

cherish the friends who are always with you, and devote your energy to maintaining a long-term relationship rather than making a wide range of friends.

three or five bosom friends in life are enough.

▽

Schopenhauer once said:

"people are like hedgehogs in cold winter. if they get too close to each other, they will feel tingling with each other, and if they are too far away, they will feel cold."

interpersonal communication is an art:

keep your distance in intimacy; leave leeway in words and deeds; keep a little vigilance in communication.

be yourselfBe on guard against others; don't hurt others, and don't be hurt.

see through the social nature and have good popularity.

, may we know the world rather than the world, and be sleek and naive.