manshiguangdushu

there is a saying:

"the more you can talk, the happier others will be, and the happier others will be, the more they will like you;

the more people like you, the more help you will get. "

people who can talk make people feel like a spring breeze because they can take into account the feelings of others.

they love themselves and others, and can get along with the people around them easily and calmly, making them feel comfortable.

most people with high EQ have these 10 performances in their lives. Which ones have you won?

01

will praise

psychologist William James said:

"one of the deepest attempts of human nature is to expect to be praised, admired and respected."

people like to get along with people who often praise and affirm themselves.

because praise makes people happy, it must make people confident.

A sincere compliment is like a ray of winter sunshine that warms the heart.

of course, the competition for high EQ is not skill, but sincerity from the heart.

the person who pretends to love in his heart is pleasing to the eye, and when he opens his mouth, it is a beautiful word.

warms others and illuminates himself.

02

will apologize

"People's Daily" once wrote:

"one of the manifestations of high EQ is'

will apologize. By admitting your mistakes and apologizing sincerely, others will naturally be impressed by your character. "

at the 120th anniversary celebration meeting of Peking University, President Lin Jianhua pronounced "swan" as "Honghao", which aroused a great response.

the next day he took the initiative to send an apology letter on Peking University BBS:

"I'm sorry I mispronounced the word" swan "in my speech at the school celebration meeting.

people with high EQ dare to admit their mistakes, which not only does not damage their image, but reflects their personality charm and is admired by everyone.

03

will be round

there was a unit party one year, and when the big leader toasted to our table, everyone got up and had a toast.

suddenly a man said, "I don't drink."

the scene was awkward for a moment.

at this time, the department leader said with his trademark smile:

"Xiao Li is in charge of driving his colleagues tonight and is the 'driver' of our table."

everyone understands it, and it's over.

people with high EQ can quietly resolve other people's crises with one or two words.

giving others a step when they are in trouble is not only the art of speaking, but also the kindness in their bones.

04

Don't show off

your best friend's child didn't do well in the exam, but you went to tell her that your child had been admitted to a famous university.

A friend has just been laid off by the company, and you tell him that you have a promotion and a raise;

A friend just broke up with her boyfriend, but you ran up to her and "sprinkled dog food".

showing off is not sharing.

sharing is the joy of one person, two people are happy;

to show off is to wish the whole world knows how good I am, no matter whether others are willing or not, or even bring sadness to others.

those who often show off, their friends will gradually leave him.

the more mature the rice is, the more it hangs down.

people who really have high EQ know that if you don't show off, you can save more than half of your troubles.

05

do not argue

once upon a time there was a scholar who saw a farmer wearing light white clothes to the farmland and told him that wearing white clothes was not suitable for farm work.

the farmer didn't like scholars in the first place, so he deliberately said that he was wearing black clothes.

two people argued, a monk passed by, Xiucai pulled monk comments.

the monk said it was black, and the farmer left with satisfaction.

the scholar was puzzled, and the monk said:

"the farmer doesn't know that he is just deliberately making things difficult for you, and arguing is just a waste of time."

if you spend your time studying, you are now more than just a scholar. "

Slide into charming turquoise formal dresses and flaunt your sexy figure. New glamorous arrivals are available now!

people with high EQ never waste their time on unnecessary things.

instead of arguing with people who don't agree with you, spend your time refining yourself.

06

unreasonable

being unreasonable here doesn't mean messing around, but at home, don't argue about everything right or wrong.

Yang Jiang once asked Qian Zhongshu: "Why do you give way to me every time you quarrel?"

Qian Zhongshu:

"because you are mine, even if you win the argument, what can you do?"

if I win the truth, lose my feelings, and lose you, I will lose my whole life. "

cousins and sisters-in-law have been married for more than ten years, but they have never seen them blush. Friends ask them the secret of not quarreling.

cousin said: "there are always ups and downs in life, but he always gives way to me."

A woman is not unreasonable, but wants to see you love her and spoil her.

07

understand criticism

Zeng Guofan said: "talk like water and do things like mountains."

sometimes criticism is inevitable, but we can be softer and softer.

write downWhen I first got to work, I had a bad time with my family the night before.

there were many typos on the documents given to the leader the next day.

but she just said gently:

"I'm relieved that you always work very carefully, but today doesn't seem to be as good as it used to be. is there any reason?"

there is no sharp criticism, but it makes me reflect that I should not let my mood affect my work.

after that, I worked harder than before.

the purpose of criticism is to solve problems. People with high EQ can achieve the purpose of criticism without hurting each other's self-esteem.

08

persuasive

this persuasive power does not mean forcing others to accept their own opinions;

but means to use the art of speaking to fight for reasonable interests for yourself.

Director Tucson offered a very high price for his job, but every collaborator thought it was worth it.

Tucson put it this way:

"at this price, you buy not only my directing ability, but also the quintessence of all my past work.

every cup of coffee I have tasted, every book I have read, every place I have visited, every beautiful woman and scenery I have seen in my eyes.

you bought the essence of my whole life and turned it into a 30-second advertisement. How could it not be expensive? "

he bluntly "smashed" the reasonableness of his high price.

09

have an optimistic attitude

writer Wilcox said:

"when life is as light and smooth as a song, it is easy to smile often;

and he who smiles when everything is bad will live a worthwhile life. "

people with high EQ, even in the face of the trough of life, will smile and say, "it doesn't matter. Luckily, I still have a chance."

such people bring their own light, can be happy no matter who they are with, and have the ability to make others happy.

emotions are contagious, and being with optimistic people will give people positive strength, and others will automatically move closer to TA.

10

empathy

some people say:

"A friend who can lend a helping hand and take care of each other's emotions is worth making deep friends with."

Eryin, a good friend of Southern Song Dynasty poet Fan Chengda, lived a difficult life for a period of time. Fan Chengda wanted to help him but was afraid of hurting his self-esteem.

obviously he sent charcoal in the snow, but he took great pains to write a poem "charcoal sent by heavy snow and mustard concealment":

for no reason, I want to see that the firewood door is not open at night.

it is not necessary to send charcoal in the snow, but to talk about the scenery and ask for poetry.

it's not that I help you in the snow, but I want to ask you for some poems. These charcoal fires are just convenient for you to write poems.

some people think that high EQ is slick, which is a kind of misreading.

can take care of each other's self-esteem and emotions, which requires empathy in one's shoes.

they know how to compare their hearts to hearts and really pretend to be each other in their hearts.

▽

Oscar Wilde said:

"there are many people who can do things, but very few people can talk.

it can be seen that speaking is the most difficult and important of the two. "

being able to speak is not hypocritical, but decent; not sophisticated, but warm.

behind all high EQ, there is kindness and self-cultivation.