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Alma, an American biologist, has done a famous "emotion experiment".

he collects the breath exhaled when people are angry, complaining, and sad, and injects it into the water.

then it was injected into the experimental mouse, and it quickly lost its breath.

negative emotions can spread quickly, which not only affects their own state, but also changes the mood and magnetic field of the people around them.

think about it, do you often do this:

when a friend complains to you, you are more saddened than him; when there is friction among colleagues, it is easy for you to eat and sleep; when you meet an unreasonable person, you can't swallow the fire in your heart.

as the counselor Cong said:

"there is always a kind of person who wants to save other people's sadness and eliminate other people's anger. These people who can't get over it will make themselves very tired."

paying too much attention to other people's emotions is a kind of social internal friction.

instead of worrying about gains and losses in other people's emotions, focus on your own days.

stay away from the black hole:

Don't be infected by other people's negative energy

Darius Foroux, a well-known startup mentor, told a story.

he has a friend who is a senior executive of a company. Under his leadership, the company has led the way and achieved outstanding growth for five consecutive years.

and this upheaval has nothing to do with the market, all because of a newcomer recruited by the company.

this newcomer has a bright resume and a good ability to work, but it's not good at all-he likes to complain and complains, which can be said to be full of negative energy.

he doesn't like the current work system, complaining that the leadership's division of labor is unclear and that there are too many problems with customers. Over time, it also affected other people.

the once enthusiastic sales team has gradually become depressed and decadent.

Foroux's friends decided to fire him, but the team was never as energetic as it used to be.

Franklin once said, "one rotten apple is enough to break a basket of apples."

Unfortunately, this kind of "rotten apple" is not rare in life:

you wanted to study hard for the postgraduate entrance examination, but your roommate said that the class had solidified long ago, so it was your turn to do a good job, so you put down your books and began to play games together as a team.

you wanted to work steadily, but as a result, the seniors said that all the positions were left to connected clients, so you began to dawdle along like him, wasting your time.

you were full of hope for your marriage, but some experienced people cried and complained to you, so you began to hesitate and miss the opportunity.

did you find it? These people who like to complain and are full of hostility will never tell you that life is good, but will only pull you into the same quagmire as them.

the concept of "black hole man" is mentioned in "Circle Breakthrough".

means that there is a group of people in life, like black holes, who can absorb people around them with negative energy.

once we get too close, we are unconsciously decadent and depraved.

whether you want to live a messy life or the fragrance of birds and flowers depends on how you choose.

Deep acquaintance with people who are full of negative energy is tantamount to chronic poisoning; getting along with optimistic and happy people is the nourishment of body and mind.

avoid garbage people:

Don't wrestle with other people's anger

on Weibo, a netizen once talked about a sad thing.

he said that his father was very warm-hearted and loved to fight injustice.

one day, the old man saw a young man park his car on the fire escape and came forward to argue.

unexpectedly, without saying a few words, the young man burst into a torrent of abuse, and the old man was not willing to be outdone, and pulled the young man to let everyone reason.

as a result, the boy broke free and roared, "if you talk any more, I'll beat you to the teeth!"

writer Zhang Cenxi has a saying that makes sense:

"what we should learn is not only to stay away from garbage people, but also to learn how to avoid turning each other into garbage people and stifle conflicts and contradictions in the cradle."

in life, there are a lot of disputes that could have been avoided, but when we meet bad people, we can't help but have a theory.

as a result, I didn't change anyone else, but I put myself in:

when you meet an unreasonable person, you can't help arguing with him in public, delaying the matter and losing dignity.

he had a red-faced argument with his colleagues for a different opinion, and no matter who was right and who was wrong, he was extremely disappointed.

Bad people and bad things are like a mud puddle. The deeper you step into it, the deeper you sink.

has seen such a fable, it is very enlightening.

on a single wooden bridge, a red sheep and a black sheep meet, and if they hit hard, they are likely to fall off a cliff at the same time.

so who gave way?

if the situation of two sheep is the same, it is difficult for anyone to make a choice.

but with a slight change in the information of the two sheep, the answer is obvious.

suppose the black sheep is terminally ill and will not live for more than a week, and the red sheep wins the lottery, and the good days are yet to come, then the red sheep must make way, because it is happier.

as a result, a very interesting theory was born-happiness gives way, and whoever is happy gives way.

as Lincoln said:

"instead of fighting for the way with a dog, let it go first." Because it's not honorable to beat a dog, but it's bad luck to be bitten by a dog. "

No entanglement in case of trouble, no entanglement in case of others is self-protection and self-improvement.

if you don't go head-to-head with angry people, you don't show timidity, but your determination not to be bound by emotions.

get rid of the flattering personality:

punish yourself without being judged by others

the philosopher Sartre wrote a play called confinement.

it is said that three people in captivity are waiting to go to hell. In the process of waiting, they began to evaluate each other and criticize and slander each other.

gradually, all three were in self-doubt and miserable because of the comments of others.

after suffering from mental torture, they suddenly realized that they did not have to go to hell, they were already in hell.

in this world, what really defeats us is not others, but ourselves who are too sensitive.

yield to others for a word of praise, and be willing to lose for fear that others will be angry.

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when you see your colleagues smiling, you are relieved; when you see your family frowning, you self-examine yourself.

live a nervous life for fear that others will say that they are not good at all.

over time, mental stress, like the stone of Sisyphus, can always make our previous efforts wasted in an instant.

when a friend first entered the workplace, his parents repeatedly told him to have a good relationship with his colleagues so as not to upset the leader.

he kept in mind that he was careful everywhere during the internship, took a courier for the leader, made a report for Sister Zhang, and took the initiative to stay and work overtime.

when he is at work, he is nervous when others talk, and after work, he is most afraid of missing calls from work.

but as a result, more and more chores are done, and there is no bright spot in the work.

the leader doesn't like it, his colleagues don't cherish it, and in the end, even he looks down on himself.

half a year later, he understood that one person could not please everyone.

Friends begin to change, no longer running around to knot people, but to train themselves to do their job well.

I agree with a sentence in "courage to be hated":

"living in fear of a broken relationship is an unfree way of life for others." Every time I flatter myself, I kill myself. "

A relationship that is painstakingly pleasing cannot last long; a relationship that is carefully maintained is easily broken when touched.

it is better to be out of tune than to be out of tune. Life is not easy, so why look at other people's faces.

it is better to walk in your own heart than to live in the eyes of others.

the best way to save your life:

reject social internal friction

Facebook has continuously pushed positive content and frustrated content to 690000 users.

then they tracked users' responses and found that most of the subjects were "emotionally contagious".

users who were pushed to happy content also posted pictures and texts with positive emotions, while users who received depressed content showed obvious negative pessimism.

truly mature people all know how to block the emotions of the outside world and focus on going their own way.

author Li Shanglong shared an experience in his book.

when he came to Beijing to work, he was as confused and helpless as many Beijing drifters.

there has been no breakthrough in his career for several years, surrounded by depressed "losers", and depression is as rampant as the flu.

but one of his friends is different. he starts lower than everyone else, but he is happy every day.

this friend never sighs. He saves money and buys himself a camera. When he has nothing to do, he walks the streets to take pictures.

A few years later, some people gave up Beijing drifters and went back to their hometown, while others were still complaining.

but this friend won a 300000 bonus for a photographic work and then started his own business.

at first, Li Shanglong thought he was lucky, but then he figured it out:

it was this friend's optimism, clarity and sobriety that helped him counterattack.

like Feng Lun's sentence very much:

"positive people are like the sun, where they shine, and negative people are like the moon. The first 15 is different.

We should be like sunflowers, following the sun and blooming stamens in the sun, instead of hurting spring and autumn in front of the uncertain moon. "

people live a lifetime, each has its own fate, joys and sorrows do not share, joys and sorrows do not blend.

the days are your own and have nothing to do with others.

the meaning of life is not to find an outlet for other people's emotions, but to find a way out for your own life.

in the final analysis, we live for ourselves, and we are responsible for ourselves.

, may you not be burdened by the outside world and live independently, freely and soberly.

not responsible for other people's emotions,

is your top self-discipline

". One copy a week

the book is published under authorization.