duhaoshu

it is impossible for people to live on an isolated island. They always have to get along with others.

when we get along with others, we yearn for the recognition and love of others.

but it backfired. As the "surrender experiment" said, "Life rarely unfolds the way we expect it to."

you want to be liked by your roommates, but you are isolated.

you want to be supported by your colleagues, but you disagree with yourself;

if you want to be liked by your family, sometimes you always feel contemptuous of yourself.

Life is like a knife, poking your heart.

Life is short, it is better to live a good life than to get caught up in emotions.

it has nothing to do with me that you don't like me

writer Xie Kehui shared a short story.

when Kobayashi was in college, a roommate didn't like her.

when she was reading in the dormitory, her roommate deliberately turned off the lights on the grounds of sleeping.

her roommate swore when she went to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

when eating, her roommate deliberately does not invite her; she always avoids her when she goes out to class.

for some reason, other roommates began to isolate her.

one day, it suddenly rained and her bedding and clothes were drying on the balcony.

she couldn't go back for the time being. As a last resort, she called her roommates to ask for help. Sadly, no one answered the phone.

she got a scholarship and wanted to invite everyone to dinner to ease the relationship, but no one showed up for the appointment.

once, when the counselor happened to be passing by, he talked to her and said, "whether you like you or not is decided by others, and whether you are happy or not is decided by yourself." Don't waste it on someone who doesn't like you. "

after talking to the counselor, she relieved a lot.

and decided that if her roommate assaulted her, she would go back without hesitation.

although her roommates still hated her, she felt much more relaxed and focused on her studies, eventually graduating with honors and getting an enviable job.

writer Feng Tangzeng said:

there are two important issues to understand in life, one is "none of my business" and the other is "none of your business".

you don't like me, it's your business, not mine.

I can do it without being influenced by you, that's my business.

in fact, no one dares to hurt you, all with your permission.

it is standard for adults to learn to identify the root causes of problems.

if you can't control other people's mouths, keep your heart

share the story of a best friend Pingping.

when she first became a supervisor, in order to improve her business, she put forward some suggestions to the leader and began to implement them after being recognized.

although it helps to improve the business, it increases the workload for the employees.

as a result, the old staff tried their best to reject the new supervisor's plan.

she asked to push her moments at 10:00 and report a return visit the next day at 4 p.m.

few people listen to her and fool as much as they can.

everyone was in the same office, and the old staff scolded her openly and secretly.

A veteran employee asked another employee, "have you finished calling today?"

the other party replied angrily: "some leaders do some useless work every day, send out moments and submit forms." If you don't grasp the real business, you can't have time to make a phone call. "

another group of people agreed: "Yes, me too."

.

their relationship gradually became irreconcilable.

it made her feel very uncomfortable, and she suffered the mockery in silence.

at this time, the relationship began to change subtly, and some veteran employees began to curry favor with her, asking her to talk about the new rules again.

you don't care if you have a mouth on someone else.

your heart grows on you, and you are free to choose.

all you can do is not to give up your principles in order to please the relationship.

otherwise, the loss outweighs the gain.

far away, not in the mouth of others, but at your own feet.

Life is not easy, keep your heart, and you win.

A sign of maturity: not afraid of being hated

Courage to be hated says:

"Freedom is the courage to be hated by others."

but most of the time, for fear of pointing fingers, they choose to live the way others expect.

without fear of being hated.

the Japanese TV series "hated Courage" told a short story.

the hostess Lanzi is standing in line to buy cake.

at this time, a little girl rushed to the window and shouted excitedly, "I want to eat Strawberry Cake!"

however, there is only the last piece of Strawberry Cake left in the window.

the little girl was dragged to the end of the line by her mother. although many people lined up in front of her, they all ordered other kinds of cakes.

until she got to Lanzi, she also liked Strawberry Cake.

so she bought the only piece of Strawberry Cake.

people around him looked at Lanzi in surprise and thought: this man is too ignorant.

she didn't jump the queue or break the rules, just because she bought what she liked and refused to be a good person, but she was cast a different eye by everyone.

but she didn't care and enjoyed the delicious cake by herself.

We were taught from an early age to "Kong Rong give up pears" and give what we like to others. Only in this way can we be touted as "having good quality".

to get everyone's love and attention.

most of the time, we think that we can live a happy life if we are loved and not hated.

but the result is that the more you cater to others, the more likely you are to lose yourself.

Life is too short to live to meet other people's expectations.

living what you like is the highest way of life.

We have come to this world,

not living for people you don't like

like this sentence:

"A person, weathered by wind and dust, comes to this world and wants to live for those who like him. This is the best state."

"

Don't lose happiness on people who don't like you, and then forget happiness on people who like you.

Life is not easy. Don't be wasted by someone who consumes you.

the TV series "their names" has such a story.

Ren Duomei is a full-time wife.

her husband gave her 20 thousand living expenses every month, and her mother-in-law promised her to have a baby and give her 500000 yuan.

her husband dotes on her, and her mother-in-law is rich. In the eyes of outsiders, she is a happy housewife.

only she knows that she fawns on the sadness behind her.

my mother-in-law wants to have grandchildren, but her husband doesn't want them.

however, she put the blame on herself and told her mother-in-law that she didn't want it.

her mother-in-law often interferes with her, no carbonated drinks or spicy food.

in order to maintain their relationship, she always treats each other with a smile.

she takes care of her mother-in-law's emotions just like her boss, but her mother-in-law says like this: "you can't understand being a leisurely housewife at home."

it really chills her.

what is even more exasperating is that she is busy helping her husband manage his relationships for the sake of his career.

but my husband always kept an affair with his younger sister and finally betrayed her.

there is a cruel truth: the more you give, the more you please, and the less satisfied you are to others.

agree with this sentence: "any interpersonal relationship is essentially an exchange relationship."

the more you please, the more attractive you are to take; you smile, but in exchange for unscrupulous harm.

Don't kill yourself on someone who doesn't like you.

the most important thing is to make yourself happy for the rest of your life.

Our delightful collection of fall cocktail dresses is just what you need to show your sense of style. Take a moment in this catalogue and realize you are lucky.

Yang Jiang once said:

"We were so looking forward to the recognition of the outside world that we finally knew that the world was our own and had nothing to do with others."

how do you live your life? It is up to us to decide, not to be influenced by the comments of others.

oneself is the protagonist of life, others are just the scenery along the way.

like the saying: "there is only one success in this world, and that is to spend your life in the way you like."

May our wishes come true for the rest of our lives.