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Law professor Luo Xiang talked about a past.

when he was in college, he especially hated his upper bunk, because the roommate was always sleeping and snoring, which made him restless, so he had a lot of vicious thoughts in his mind.

but he later found out that he was the one who snored loudest in the dormitory.

the reason why his upper bunk is tossing and turning is that he can't sleep because of his snoring, but I'm sorry to wake him up.

as Luo Xiang said: moral judgment always comes before others.

foolish people always like to look for reasons from others.

truly mature people examine themselves, examine themselves more, and criticize others less.

reflexive, strengthen yourself

in the film the Beginning of Spring directed by Gu Changwei, the haughty Huang Sibao wanted to be admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts, but failed year after year.

when he is nearly thirty, he still doesn't have a real job and stays at home all day.

when he is in a bad mood, he gets drunk and prides himself on being an artist.

until he fell out of the list for the sixth time, he still did not review himself, complaining to everyone that God had deliberately played tricks on him and that he had no talent.

he even blamed his mother for failing to give himself a good background.

"blaming this and that all day long, I think he is the one to blame most."

he who complains has no ambition, and he who complains has a poor heart.

the greatest sorrow of a person is not that there is something wrong with him, but that he does not know that he is wrong.

writer Jin Weichun had a rather painful experience in his early years.

at that time, with great enthusiasm, he started his business as Business Weekly. Who would have expected that the magazine suffered a serious economic crisis just a year after it was founded.

the company spends a lot of manpower and financial resources, but no one cares about the magazines published. in the end, it cannot make ends meet, so it can only continue to borrow and repay its debts.

has resources and talent, but why can't magazines be sold?

after looking for reasons to no avail, Jin Weichun analyzed his problems inward.

at a year-end meeting, he criticized himself in front of all the staff:

"it is my poor management."

"what we did was useless. It was all my fault. I pretended to be good."

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the following year, the magazine unexpectedly came back from the dead and became the largest local magazine.

Why is this?

because of the idea that "this is all my fault", Jin Weichun began to bow his head and change the way of management, and the company began to go uphill.

recalling this experience later, Jin Weichun said with emotion:

"admitting mistakes is not an external matter, but an internal practice. When you realize the extreme, the energy of your life will be fully displayed. "

without deep self-examination, there is no amazing self-transcendence.

finding the reason from yourself is a shortcut for a person to become strong.

every time a problem is corrected and a loophole is filled, the step of life will rise to a higher level.

Internal demand, perfect self-cultivation

see a very meaningful picture.

introspection is a mirror and a ruler, reflecting your own flaws and measuring your true self.

once Ji Xianlin was invited to give a lecture. before going out, he remembered that he had not yet watered the gentleman orchid, so he asked the babysitter to help with the watering.

unexpectedly, when he came home, he found Gentleman dead.

after asking, I learned that after the babysitter had watered the orchid, she saw that the sun was right outside the window and specially moved the orchid to the sun.

but she doesn't know that gentleman orchids like to be cool and afraid of heat.

Ji Xianlin felt very sad when his beloved gentleman's orchid died, and the babysitter was at a loss for a moment.

Ji Cheng, son of Ji Xianlin, came to visit his father. When he knew about this, he wanted to say something about the babysitter, but Ji Lao waved his hand to speak for the babysitter and comforted her in turn.

Old Ji explained to his son:

"it's really not her fault. It's my fault." When others make mistakes, they often have their own mistakes.

I know full well that my aunt doesn't know how to take care of Gentleman, but I still leave the matter to her. Do you think it's my fault? "

blaming others to ask themselves first, forgiving themselves first and forgiving others first is a self-cultivation engraved in the bones.

in the Book of changes, there is a word called "Gentleman Leopard change":

A gentleman is born ugly like a leopard, but after practice, he finally becomes a man of quality like a vigorous and beautiful adult leopard.

Zengzi always adhered to introspection and self-reliance, and every day he had to ask himself to correct himself and cultivate his heart, and later generations respected him as a "zong saint".

Zeng Guofan kept a diary for a long time to reflect on his words and deeds, got rid of many faults, and became "the most perfect person in the world."

inward seeking is a person's deepest practice.

everyone is a piece of jade.

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self-examination, carving inch by inch, removing impurities and leaving essence, and then moist and glossy.

introspection, live in harmony

there was a big and distinguished family in Jiangyin in the Ming Dynasty, and the patriarch was called Xia Weng.

one day he was crossing the river by boat, and a man threw dung on his boat.

Xia Weng was furious and asked to be taken to see the official.

butXia Weng thought, why do some people throw dung on themselves for no reason?

so he asked the housekeeper that the man had borrowed money from the Xia family, and the Xia family urged him to do such a thing several times, which was too tight.

when Xia Weng knew this, he forgave the man and warned his subordinates not to collect debts until he was rich.

this person also broke the ice with the Xia family and re-established a good relationship.

relationships are in trouble because we only focus on each other's problems and turn a blind eye to our own flaws.

when others treat each other coldly, first think about whether their own thorns hurt others;

when others are unreasonable, think about whether what you do is reasonable or not.

look at others with one eye and leave one to examine yourself.

Zhang Yiwu, a management trainer, once planted a lot of bamboo in the yard.

in his eyes, bamboo is a good choice to improve the style of the house.

but only a few days after planting, the neighbor came to look for him.

accused: "you bamboo, when you come to our house through the wall, you won't be in trouble."

Zhang Yiwu said very puzzled: "even if bamboo has grown in the past, it has added a sense of elegance. How can it be troublesome?"

but the neighbors disagreed: "I am a businessman, your bamboo is hollow, unlucky."

hearing this reason, he was a little speechless, but after a little thinking, he still dug up the bamboo in the yard.

the friends around me said aggrieved:

"it is unreasonable for him to protest when you grow bamboo in your house. And it costs so much money to grow bamboo, it's too bad for you to dig it up like this. "

but Zhang Yiwu replied with a smile:

"I thought about it, the same bamboo, you think it is getting higher and higher, others think it is bad for business, from the point of view of others, there is no problem.

moreover, if the other person's heart is always diaphragm, the neighborhood will not be harmonious. So in order for everyone to be comfortable, we must dig. "

how many relationships in this world are hurt by self-position, but by transposition.

getting along with others and finding reasons from yourself is a harmonious view of the world.

the ruler in everyone's heart should be used to measure oneself, not people.

▽

there is a psychology who divides people's values into two categories: one is called weak values, and the other is called strong values.

the biggest difference between the two is that when something happens to weak values, ask: why? I like to attribute to the outside.

but strong values are used to asking themselves: why? Be good at asking for reasons inward.

the gap between people also arises.

everything is attributed to external causes, consumes oneself in complaining, and is trapped in a cage.

and those who seek causes from themselves continue to grow and become stronger and stronger.

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