in A hundred years of Solitude, M á rquez wrote this sentence:

"the confidence of the past is gone, and complicity and communication have turned into hostility and silence."

I think of this sentence because I have heard something in the past two days.

Mo broke up with her best sister because she didn't lend money to each other.

it has been more than ten years since they met in high school.

Mo said that she has lent money to her friends many times before. After all, they are all young people, and it is inevitable that they are short of money.

but this time, the other party owed a large loan and didn't say it until someone asked for it every day.

she knows that Mo can't come up with so much money, but she knows that Mo's boyfriend can.

Mo politely advised her to tell her family, but in the other party's view, this is "let death fail to save".

so people who used to talk about everything now have nothing to say.

the colleague who once told you, "the mountains are high and the waters are far away, we meet at the top", later came across by chance and hurried by with their heads down without even saying hello.

the sisters who once said that they would come to see you off on your wedding day, no matter how far away, probably didn't say "Happy Marriage" to you.

people who once said they would always love you and want to accompany you slowly to old age, you have deleted all contact information and traces of getting along with each other, as if they had never appeared in each other's lives.

I believe that when people talk to each other, they are sincere, and I also believe that our brains are big enough for us to remember all the good things that have happened.

but the constant truth in this world is change.

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time can make or destroy a relationship.

and all we have to do is:

Don't overestimate any relationship, and don't test any relationship at will.

remember seeing a test before:

if you have a partner, go back and ask the other person, if you are sick, is he willing to sell his house and car, regardless of everything, to treat you, even if the cure rate may not be high?

there is an answer:

" is just for psychological comfort. In fact, when that day really comes, none of us know what will happen.

Yes, a plan given when a problem occurs may not really be done at the moment when it happens.

it is enough to be able to live with a clear conscience in the present, and it is difficult for us to tell what will happen in the future.

when we spend time and energy on one person, we often want to get the same feedback from each other.

once the feedback we get doesn't live up to expectations, it's easy to lose.

once we have doubts, we can't help but test each other's sincerity in various ways.

Mathematical problems need to be checked to prove the correctness of the answer, but people, the more they expect, the more likely they are to be disappointed, and the more they are tested, the more likely they are to be alienated.

so don't speculate on other people's minds with the most pessimistic attitude, and don't expect from others with the most greedy thoughts.

Maslow wrote this sentence in motivation and disqualification:

"in order to avoid disappointment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about human nature."

Don't have unreasonable expectations, it is the greatest protection for yourself, but also the most basic tolerance for each other.