Liu Chun

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Life is like drinking water, knowing whether it is warm or cold.

We are always used to setting high expectations for our lives and adding too dreamy filters to the world.

therefore, we tend to be busy all our lives, and we only get bitter and tired, without any sense of happiness at all.

people are like this. once they have expectations for others, they will carry the burden of their hearts and make you live very hard.

but the real world is very cruel, never put all your expectations on others, because others have no obligation to realize your expectations.

instead of being trapped by expectations that cannot be forced, it is better to change yourself and live at home first.

all the troubles,

is to expect too much from others

all the unhappiness in the world is caused by your own inability to see through.

the scariest kidnapping in the world is not "real", but "moral" and "love and expectation" to ask others.

there is a very apt sentence to describe this phenomenon: "all excessive expectations of others are like a knife, double-edged, no one can escape."

when troubles come, you might as well look for problems from yourself, learn to untie the mind, and the troubles will disappear.

I saw such a summary on the Internet before:

parents will be angry with their children if their exam scores are not satisfactory.

parents will not be happy if they don't buy the toys their children want.

the performance of the staff and workers under the leadership is mediocre, and the leader is very angry;

employees are equally unhappy when they think that hard work is not recognized by the relevant salary.

on the bus, old people think that they are old and should be taken care of, while young people who work hard all day choose to ignore it.

in fact, these are all disappointments caused by expectations that do not meet their expectations, and lead to constant conflicts.

but when you calm down and think about it, is it really worth getting angry like this?

is like a passage written by the writer Ma de:

"I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always expect a result."

read a book and expect it to make me deep, run for a while and expect it to make me slim down, send a Wechat message expecting it to be replied, and look forward to being treated well for others.

if these preset expectations are realized, I often breathe a sigh of relief, and if they are not realized, I will feel sorry for myself. "

what really brings you pain is not that person, but your expectation of that person, and it is that expectation that brings you pain.

when you let go of these so-called expectations and learn to rely on yourself, you won't have so many complaints in your heart.

the only thing we can change is ourselves

put it down and feel at ease.

most of the time, the dilemma of things is just because we have made a difference of our own. At this time, all you need is change.

of course, it is always difficult to change others, and it is impossible to change the world. The only thing you can change is yourself.

change your mind and attitude. When you start to change yourself, a lot of things change with it.

once saw such a story:

there is a master who has lived in the mountains for a long time and has been practicing the "Dafa of moving mountains" for decades, and has finally achieved positive results.

when someone heard about it, they came to pay homage to the teacher and piously asked the master for advice:

"Master, what kind of magical power did you use to move the mountain away? how can I practice this magic skill?"

the master replied with a smile:

"it's very easy to practice this divine skill. All you have to do is master a little, that is, if the mountain doesn't come, I'll go there."

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it looks as if there is no road, but there is another village around the corner.

there is a saying on the Internet:

"there have never been any miracles in the world, and fate has always been in your own hands. If you want to change your destiny, the most important thing is to change yourself. "

because the changes in this world are human changes, and the changes of others can only be influenced by their own changes.

so, when you can't change others, the most effective way is to change yourself.

if you don't change yourself, you will never be happy.

it is painful to change others, but to change yourself is the beginning of happiness.

does happiness really need conditions?

teacher Zhang Defen's answer is: "Happiness really does not depend on external conditions, but on the hearts of the people."

if you are always comparing and jealous, all you can get is "ask for but not get".

I have seen a fan's contribution in a Weibo message from an emotional blogger.

"I like to decorate flowers in the living room. He obviously passes by the florist after work every day, but he doesn't buy a bunch of them easily.

I'm already tired of cooking. Why can't he ask himself to wash the dishes after dinner?

I thought he would make careful preparations for my birthday, but it turned out to be an ordinary meal.

We do it every time because of these trifles.In a quarrel, every time he doesn't do what I want, I wonder if I picked the wrong person. "

the blogger's reply is also straightforward:

"in fact, you should think that your husband also cares a lot about you. Maybe when you are sick, he immediately sends you medicine, or when you are aggrieved at work, he also knows how to make you happy."

No one can be so considerate and perfect in everything. If you expect too much, you will only be disappointed.

if you always expect your husband to be perfect in everything, always stare at his shortcomings and ignore his efforts, it will only hurt your feelings in the end. "

what you don't like about others is your own problem, without exception.

A very important sign of immaturity is to ask others by your own standards, while maturity requires, allows and respects differences.

the two leaves on a tree are not the same, so why should we require everything in the world to develop according to your standards?

so, use your happiness to nurture a good state of mind, a good state of mind, naturally everything is pleasing to the eye.

from now on, may you have the courage to accept everything and the determination to change yourself.