there are books

I have read a short story: there is a donkey who is used to eating the grass given by his owner, and over time he feels that the food is tasteless.

once, the owner added a handful of salt to his forage, and the previously boring forage turned into a delicacy.

when he learned that it was because of the addition of salt, the donkey excitedly said to his owner that he would no longer eat forage, but only salt.

the result can be imagined. The next day, the donkey frowned and looked for fodder.

means that no matter how good it is, it should be timely and moderate, and what is needed is the best.

the donkey in the story only tastes salt forage and thinks that "salt" is the best food in the world.

do not know that salt is only the seasoning of good food, if only eat salt, it will be difficult to swallow.

because ignoring the "degree" and the real "demand" will only make the results poles apart.

the same is true of all kinds of relationships in life.

We often lose our sense of propriety and boundaries, which makes the relationship easy to deteriorate.

neglects to know how to be on demand and moderation so that feelings can be kept fresh.

whether it's socializing with people, getting along with partners, or educating children, if you can use the salt effect to grasp the needs and yardstick, you can let the relationship rise to another high-rise.

Best relationship

is the ability to gain insight into each other's preferences

during the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a member outside his family who was very rich. He was kind and considerate, and he was very kind to every tenant of his family.

one day, a good friend who had known each other for many years came to visit and said that something had happened to his family and asked the staff to take him in.

the staff immediately arranged accommodation for him and gave his friends some land for farming, but they had to charge the same rent as the tenants.

when others found out, the instructor was too stingy. Since he is a good friend, why should he divide it so clearly?

the outsider explained: "if I let him live at home all the time, entertain him with good food and drink."

in the long run, he will not only lose his ability to make a living, but also take my help for granted.

moreover, I have a heavy burden on myself, and I can't support idle people.

give him the land he needs and let him work on his own. We each get what we need. Why not do it? "

the originally difficult life has also become well-off, and the relationship between the two is closer than before.

when people are living in the world, no one can avoid the time when they are exhausted and down and out.

but not everyone is eager to get help from others, and not everyone can be grateful after getting help.

outside the staff, it is only to see the difficulties of friends, but also to see the needs of friends.

Yuki Higano once said, "there are two things in the world that cannot be looked directly at: one is the sun, and the other is the human heart."

when help is given to the wrong person, it is easy to be pitied and satirized;

if you go too far, you will take it for granted.

most of the time, we think that we are apathetic and selfish to give moderately and only give each other what we need.

but in fact, it just gives each other the ability to encourage and believe that the other person has the ability to change for the better.

the theory of social exchange has pointed out that the essence of any interpersonal relationship is the exchange of interests.

it needs not only emotional maintenance, but also a good grasp of each other's needs and interests.

A long-term way to get along with others is to have a limit in everything and give on demand.

the best marriage

is to know how to add salt moderately

in the short story "sad death", the love experience of men and women makes people feel sad.

the female master Zijun and the male master Juansheng are talented and good-looking. After dating for half a year, Zijun eloped with Juansheng, who was poor and white, despite the opposition of his family.

in order to find a place to live, Zijun sold his only gold ring and earrings.

but she doesn't care. On the contrary, she is full of enthusiasm and expectation for her future life.

in the days after cohabitation, people are often stretched beyond their means to make ends meet.

but instead of complaining, she gave up her time of reading and dressing up to make a living and do all the housework.

because she loves Juansheng and is willing to give everything for him.

but over time, Juansheng began to avoid Zijun, and even disliked her for losing her former charm.

and Zijun's selfless efforts not only did not get Juansheng's gratitude, but made himself scarred.

some people commented that

"Zijun's love, like a moth to the fire, is so desperate."

but in the end, he is often buried in the fire, no one will be grateful, and no one will remember it.

because of one-sided pay, can never build a bridge of love.

No matter how strong love is, if you give too much, it will become worthless.

therefore, don't do those thankless things;

Don't tolerate those who ask you to give in to your principles again and again.

Life is not only a partner, but also one's own.

as there is a saying in the Art of Marriage:

"No matter how much you love someone in your heart, remember to divide that love into two halves, one half for marriage and the other half for yourself."

A good marriage is not falling apart, but maintaining together and warming each other's hearts..

moderate pay, can bring each other closer, but no bottom line of love, after all, it is difficult to get the same affection.

as the saying goes, "Love does not last long."

in a relationship, seven points for a lover is enough, leaving three points, love yourself.

the best education

is to grasp the boundary of love

in the hit TV series "come on!" In Mom, there is a scene like this:

Zhu Luxi, played by Pan Zhilin, is away from home with her daughter Isabel.

Zhu Luxi asked her daughter to sit on the stool, but the daughter disliked the uncleanliness of the stool and asked her to wipe it with her clothes before she would sit.

and when Zhu Luxi asked her why she didn't wipe your own clothes.

my daughter retorted more confidently:

"the princess's skirt can't be soiled!"

it turns out that Zhu Luxi has always doted on her daughter as if she were a princess.

pamper the daughter's temper, indulge the daughter's desire, and meet all the daughter's demands unconditionally.

eventually causes the daughter to be selfish and self-willed, and it is difficult to integrate into the group when getting along with her classmates.

educationist Makalienko said:

"if parents don't love their children enough, their children will feel pain, but excessive indulgence will destroy them."

I think so.

if you indulge too much, you will never be able to raise independent and responsible children.

have seen an interview by actor Zhang Hongjie.

he is already over 70, but he still continues to take over and shoot movies.

because he has to feed not only his paralyzed wife, but also his three married children and their families.

in the face of the needs of his children, Zhang Hongjie has always responded to every request. As long as the child is healthy, he will follow the child.

it is precisely because of this educational concept that there is no bottom line for children, so that the three children have grown into "giant babies."

his two daughters are married, but they still want him to pay for a house;

my son's family can't find a job, so he goes to get his pension.

this is the age at which children can stand on their own for a whole day, but nothing can be done without the worry and help of their parents.

you know, parents will not follow their children all their lives, nor will they cover for their children for the rest of their lives.

most of the time, we use "the child is small, he doesn't understand" as an excuse.

but in fact, children begin to have a sense of independence at the age of two or three.

they not only observe the faces of their parents, but also react accordingly according to changes in the outside world.

if we are still overly arranging or controlling our child's life at this time, we will slowly close his independent mind and breed dependent thoughts.

Dr. Maria Montessori once said:

the highest goal of educating children is to enable them to stand on their own feet.

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he is not dependent on his parents spiritually or materially, but is responsible for his own thoughts and actions. "

therefore, parents should not take responsibility for what their children should do, and parents should not bear what their children should suffer.

when children have the courage to overcome difficulties, they will have the courage to live independently when they grow up.

▽

there is a saying in Cai Gentan:

"the character is at its best, but it just happens."

the same is true of all kinds of relationships in life.

only when you give a certain degree can you get it right; if you give it according to your needs, you can heat up for a long time.

Human exchanges, not excessive, do not exceed the moment, the relationship can be harmonious;

Marriage and love, don't give too much, don't love too much, the relationship can last long;

educate children, regardless of whether they are too strict or too lenient, so that they can grow up independently.

and when we grasp the "salt effect" in our relationship, we can naturally relax and enjoy life in the torrent of life.

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